this is how to begin when you don't know how.... oh yeah, that's the one. the intro? you just read it.

it's weird.

everytime i'm done with all the supposed "fun" weekend and all that drinking binge we had in our joint, i always end up feeling a lot of guilt. i don't know why but somehow, after all the "happiness," i feel really, really empty inside. damn, hate that feeling, dude!

i don't want to say anything forward cos i'm no good at it but i'll try to skip the "night life" for now and for as long as i could. besides, i needed to finish up reading two important books i've been browsing through simultaneously (muti-tasking is my last name, by the way) everytime i'm stuck in the c.r. for upset stomach or had too much red "whore" the night before.

@@@

last saturday, i celebrated the eve of my birthday over there at beach roots. i did not told anyone about it cos i hate the attention and the fuss... i just got older and wiser today... no big deal, no drama. i was having sooo much fun with whomever was it hanging out in the bar... (yeah, the kind of fun you and i can only get when we're hanging out there... no need to elaborate here) that i practically forgotten what time did i went to my car and snooze 'til morning!

i woke up around 6am. check my things if everything was still intact. i'll make a wild guess, i slept like a log that time. when i woke up i had no recollection how i got there but i knew i thought about not driving anymore with my condition cos i'm surely inviting accident again.

btw, this is the 3rd time i got "knocked" in there. it usually happens when i'm bringing the cage... i get a little comfortable with it as my ride than having to do a whole lot of balancing act on a two-wheeled vehicle under the influence of you know what.

on my birthday, wifey wouldn't understand that it's too dangerous to cruise around town "loaded." we had our usual fit just like ordinary days... instead of taking a long sleep, i ended up tinkering with my pc and played grand theft auto - vice city (i have san andreas but the former loads and plays faster) and smoke some shits away! was pretty therapeutic, actually. about 9am, my sister from ny called and greeted me. boy, the familiar voice, the sense of belongingness, the sincerity, the "real deal" sense of concern ---- ladies and gentlemen, i cried and wept like a baby. i guess this is it. this has got to be better than wasting all my enemies playing gta. call me what you like but i felt really good after burning the line for quite some time with her just opening up myself.

after the long chat, went back to my "fortress" (the place in the house where everything dear [includes some guns and ammo, xxx cd's...etc. and beware] to me are stored in utmost secrecy and privacy) but this time, i just played some cool music and reflect on all the shitty things i've done... all of these were all my doings, i thought.

surprise, surprise! around 10am, wifey had a change of heart. she brought me some hot soup and was being nice.

went ahead with my day alternately playing the pc and/or watching what's on dream tv. my younger bro, alan would text me later from the land of milk and honey . thanks for the greetings man. a few hours more and earl, my "best friend forever" arrived later that afternoon and joined me and wifey (see how women can nag you, like, forever and be your best pal in a few hours? one complicated piece of work, really... but, love 'em a lot) while we belted out some of our recently brought pirated disks from our "suki."

it's a wonder how a 1300 watts of amps, 10 band graphic equalizer, a huge 15' woofers (this is bragging rights time, dude) can make one crummy voices like ours sound pleasant, ey? must have been that we got the voice echo mix slid to the max for that "adequate" output, huh?

so, there goes my birthday "episode." as i've said, didn't want the fuss. if i wanted to , you'd probably knew it since january, huh?

time to press Ctrl-S.