Thursday, October 26, 2006
parking parking parking
don't we all wish we have a parking system like this? we could save a lot of space y'know...
Virginity Test
Two guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding..."I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue.
On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the
funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
love style...
since it's the end of ramadan, i feel like being chummy today if you don't mind....
so HERE goes....
*****
wonder no more....
i'm also a fan of several blogs out there, but since migrating to the beta version, i couldn't make any comments anymore... dunno why but i'm itching, boys and girls to be heard... hopefully, blogger.com could fix this "situation" soon...
so, to all noypi's, especially to the southside creeps, happy holiday....
so HERE goes....
*****
wonder no more....
i'm also a fan of several blogs out there, but since migrating to the beta version, i couldn't make any comments anymore... dunno why but i'm itching, boys and girls to be heard... hopefully, blogger.com could fix this "situation" soon...
so, to all noypi's, especially to the southside creeps, happy holiday....
Monday, October 23, 2006
stress relief
ey ladies!
this is what you do to your boyfriend, lover, husband.. whatever! if and when you found out they're screwing around....
Special High Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of S.H.I.T. allready.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of S.H.I.T. allready.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
btw, i am undergoing all of the above training... thus, my post/s is full of shit...
Sunday, October 22, 2006
britney spears - strip tease game
you wanna strip britney spears naked?
you need a real steady hand like a surgeon to do that....
to know if you have it, you know what to CLICK
btw, advance..... ah, you'll know when you're done with the game.
you need a real steady hand like a surgeon to do that....
to know if you have it, you know what to CLICK
btw, advance..... ah, you'll know when you're done with the game.
Calories & Sex
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now no one had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research we are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent........................ 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.......................... 8 Calories
With one hand........................... 12 Calories
With your teeth..........................85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..................................12 Calories
69 lying down............................78 Calories
69 standing up..........................112 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................... 216 Calories
In the bathtub .........................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.....................912 Calories
ORGASMING:
Real....................................112 Calories
False...................................315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are: 20-29 years old...........36 Calories
30-39 years..............................80 Calories
40-49 years.............................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................972 Calories
60-69 years............................2916 Calories
70 and over........................... Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry.............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door....... 1218 Calories
With her husband knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent........................ 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.......................... 8 Calories
With one hand........................... 12 Calories
With your teeth..........................85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..................................12 Calories
69 lying down............................78 Calories
69 standing up..........................112 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................... 216 Calories
In the bathtub .........................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.....................912 Calories
ORGASMING:
Real....................................112 Calories
False...................................315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are: 20-29 years old...........36 Calories
30-39 years..............................80 Calories
40-49 years.............................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................972 Calories
60-69 years............................2916 Calories
70 and over........................... Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry.............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door....... 1218 Calories
With her husband knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
blue balls
"I think I have a problem, Doc," says the patient, "One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?" bursts the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, and the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, he comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too and, again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doc, and the patient has to agree with the operation.
But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returns to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient, the doc gives him the bad news: if he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, he does not want to hear about it.
"You want to die?" asks the doctor.
"But... how do I pee?"
"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
So, he has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters, again, the doctor's office. He is very angry. "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!" "What?" "Can you tell me what the hell is happening!?"
So, the doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know, could it be the dye from your blue jeans?"
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?" bursts the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, and the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, he comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too and, again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doc, and the patient has to agree with the operation.
But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returns to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient, the doc gives him the bad news: if he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, he does not want to hear about it.
"You want to die?" asks the doctor.
"But... how do I pee?"
"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
So, he has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters, again, the doctor's office. He is very angry. "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!" "What?" "Can you tell me what the hell is happening!?"
So, the doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know, could it be the dye from your blue jeans?"
Saturday, October 21, 2006
perfect breasts
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for 100 dollars? "
Are you nuts?", she replies. And keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for 1,000 dollars?" he asks again.
"Listen sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?" she says.
So the guy runs again around the next block and faces her again: "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for 10,000 dollars?"
She thinks about it for a while and said, "Hmmm 10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there..."
So they went to that alley and she takes off the blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.
As soon as he sees them he jumps on them and starts caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, burying his face in them.... but not biting.
In the end the woman gets all annoyed and asks: "Are you gonna bite them or what?"
"Nah," he replies. "Costs too much."
...and you thought you had a bad day
The next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.
____________________________________________
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.
This time of year, the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:
We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of crap sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and five other divers were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my asshole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
Internet Addiction Test (IAT)
How do you know if you're already addicted or rapidly tumbling toward trouble? Everyone's situation is different, and it's not simply a matter of time spent on-line. Some people indicate they are addicted with only twenty hours of Internet use, while others who spent forty hours on-line insist it is not a problem to them. It's more important to measure the damage your Internet use causes in your life. What conflicts have emerged in family, relationships, work, or school?
Let's find out.
This is a simple exercise to help you in two ways:
(1) If you already know or strongly believe you are addicted to the Internet, this guide will assist you in identifying the areas in your life most impacted by your excessive Net use; and
(2) If you're not sure whether you're addicted or not, this will help determine the answer and begin to assess the damage done. Remember when answering, only consider the time you spent on-line for non-academic or non-job related purposes.
clink on the LINK to see if you're addicted.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
The Bean Head, Find It
I bet you guys more than 1 minute.Find the Man's Head within 3 seconds - You're a genius!
According to medical experiments:
If you can find the Man's Head within 3 seconds, your right brain is developed better than normal people.
If you can find the Man's Head within 1 minute, your right brain is developed normally.
If you can find the Man's Head within 1-3 mintues, your right brain is slow in reacting, you should eat more meat protein.
If you find the Man's Head in 3 minutes or more, your right brain is a disaster... extremely slow in reacting, the only suggestion is, watch more cartoons to help normally develop your right brain.
Eye Test for Cataracts
This test for Cataracts. I heard it has saved people from having to have eye surgery. You should check yourself at least every other month or so.
Do yourself a favor and take this simple vision test. It's an early test for Cataracts. It is simple to do and it's fun.
Remember, Cataracts know no age boundary; young and old can have this "preventable" eye disease.
When you're finished, send this on to those you care about!!!
EYE TEST
courtesy of my bro, alan
Do yourself a favor and take this simple vision test. It's an early test for Cataracts. It is simple to do and it's fun.
Remember, Cataracts know no age boundary; young and old can have this "preventable" eye disease.
When you're finished, send this on to those you care about!!!
EYE TEST
courtesy of my bro, alan
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
this is soooo coool, man...
click on the LINK and you'll find out how they did it in the movie, The Matrix.
go ahead, don't be shy!
note: have a little patience with the loading... also, you need to download some kindda japanese language stuff... you'll find out as you go along... enjoy!
click on the LINK and you'll find out how they did it in the movie, The Matrix.
go ahead, don't be shy!
note: have a little patience with the loading... also, you need to download some kindda japanese language stuff... you'll find out as you go along... enjoy!
Silva delivers a lesson in Muay Thai
The former school teacher got schooled.
Rich Franklin came into UFC 64 having never lost a fight in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He was unbeaten in nearly three years and widely regarded as not only one of the elite fighters in the UFC, but in MMA in general. Then, Mr. Franklin met Anderson Silva.
Silva gave the middleweight champion a lesson in Muay Thai. The challenger got Franklin in a tight Muay Thai clinch and Franklin either couldn't break free or chose not to. Either way, Franklin had no answer for a fighter who was stronger and technically superior.
Silva came into the bout with a reputation as a deadly striker. Ironically, he didn't land a punch in the fight that influenced the outcome.
Rarely do you see a fight in which a champion is so thoroughly destroyed by his opponent. We saw it Saturday night. So much for the pre-fight conjecture about Silva, 17-4, not deserving a title shot.
As for what's next for Silva, he jokingly said at the post-fight press conference that he'd like to fight a "clone of himself." That might be the only guy who has a shot against this well-rounded fighter. Based on what we've seen from "The Spider" in two UFC fights thus far, I don't think there's a middleweight in the division right now who would pose a serious threat to the Brazilian.
Silva's easy-going charm outside the octagon belies his ferocity inside it. This guy is scary good. Mike Swick stopped short of calling out Silva at the post-fight presser, but he made it clear that he'd take on Silva now - and, yes, Swick was witness to what Silva did to Franklin
*****
was rooting for rich franklin to win the fight but you know how it is in ufc... there will always be upsets and some shits do happen there all the time...
Monday, October 16, 2006
i.....
love to resign.
tomorrow.... i just might.
i don't feel the excitement anymore.
routine routine routine routine routine routine ....
managers.... they rule!
i don't know but everything sucks right now.
tomorrow.... i just might resign.... again.... or have i?
no, it's irrevocable this time....
***
speaking of resignation, here's a nice LINK about it... go ahead.. check it out!
tomorrow.... i just might.
i don't feel the excitement anymore.
routine routine routine routine routine routine ....
managers.... they rule!
i don't know but everything sucks right now.
tomorrow.... i just might resign.... again.... or have i?
no, it's irrevocable this time....
***
speaking of resignation, here's a nice LINK about it... go ahead.. check it out!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
it's gonna be "joke time" for -- i don't know... forever?
well, i'm into some kind of transition with my work. soon, i'll be sailing uncharted territory.
not that i'm scared but next week, i'll be doing a different kind of job... and so is val. the "one" up there decided to swap our jobs for two months... we'll see who among us will quit over this cos i'm sure it ain't gonna be me. in fact, i would love to take on val's job forever.
though my job don't necessarily suck, it's packed with problems. through the years though, i have learned to suck it up, roll with it and bottle up my emotions with whatever difficulties i encountered along the way.
for my "violations," i was asked to reply to the "know it all" department why i committed such infractions over and over again. and so in my reply was, well, it came out as a sort of dare for them because apparently, they were comparing my work with val's, which i strongly disagree with.
so there. we swap places... for two months? can they make it forever? i don't necessarily like val's job but it's the perks that he gets that i'm itching to get a piece of. i hope val's cut out for my job cos he's gonna be playing a whole new ball game here.
and yeah, i'd love to see whose gonna win/quit in this game you guys up there are playing... bring it on, baby... fire away!
here's your daily dose....
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel.
The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak,
"Oh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his money!"
Friday, October 13, 2006
Laws Applicable To All Human Residents Of Earth!
Some of it, in some weird way happens most of the time.
1. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
2. Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
4. Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
5. O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
7. Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
9. Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10. Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
11. Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold.
12. Howden's Law:
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.
13. Gentlemen's Law:
When you see a beautiful girl, either she is married or you are married.
14. Bachelor's Law:
When you get to meet a beatiful girl in the office, either she is taken, dating, or a single mom.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Intelligent....
Teacher asked her student, "Boy. What is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Teacher had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Teacher had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at Teacher and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."
Teacher says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agree.
Teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Teacher says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agree.
Teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment says, "Legs"
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets"
Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Teacher : Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that mean s lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "This boy is really intelligent, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!!!!
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."
God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"
God said, "Yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"
"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on."
God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."
the world never cease to disappoint me....
i don't know...
i'm very emotional right now...
tomorrow i'll forget about tonight...
i'm listening to some oldies.... my dad, he sure love this song...
i'm sad but i'm happy to listen to... The Way You Look Tonight
love you dad....
night y'all!
i don't know...
i'm very emotional right now...
tomorrow i'll forget about tonight...
i'm listening to some oldies.... my dad, he sure love this song...
i'm sad but i'm happy to listen to... The Way You Look Tonight
love you dad....
night y'all!
Ortiz Retires Shamrock with First Round TKO
10/10/2006
By Thomas Gerbasi
HOLLYWOOD, FL, October 10 – got another minute and five seconds in his third bout with Tito Ortiz, but this time the controversy of their second bout in July was non-existent, as Ortiz once again proved his dominance against the UFC Hall of Famer by knocking him out at 2:23 of the first round at the Seminole Hard Rock Live Arena in what ultimately became the swan song for ‘The World’s Most Dangerous Man’.
“Congratulations to Tito Ortiz,” said a gracious Shamrock. “I wish him and all the people in the UFC the best. Thanks for all the wonderful years.”
And though the 42-year-old Shamrock’s career earned him a spot in the organization’s Hall of Fame, the veteran of the first UFC back in 1993 was never a match for Ortiz, who defeated him via a third round TKO in 2002, and repeated the feat in July in a bout rife with controversy due to a one minute and 18 second stoppage that was deemed too quick by fans and some fight insiders.
Thus fight number three, but again, it was Ortiz who dominated.
Almost immediately, Ortiz drove Shamrock into the fence and tried to impose his will on the 42-year-old. Seconds later, Ortiz secured a takedown and started to open up with forearms in an almost carbon copy of their second bout. And after Ortiz found some space to throw blows with both hands without any response the result was the same as well, and referee John McCarthy was forced to call a stop to the bout at 2:23
And though the bad blood between the two over the years was real, it was nice to see the two embrace in the Octagon after the bout and bury the hatchet in a great sign of class by both fighters.
Shamrock retires with a pro mixed martial arts record of 26-12-2. Ortiz, who improved to 16-4, will next face Chuck Liddell in December in a quest to regain his UFC light heavyweight crown.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
in as much as i would love to see schumi win this year's formula 1 championship and see him at the top for his last hurrah....
that gave alonso the win, broke their tie... and a huge possibilty of bringing home the bacon....
shit happens.
that gave alonso the win, broke their tie... and a huge possibilty of bringing home the bacon....
shit happens.
Monday, October 09, 2006
The Final Chapter
this is fun...
Ken Shamrock and Tito Ortiz go at it again for the third time... can't wait!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
(Hala sige, pa-ingles-ingles pa mo diha! Hehehehehe!)
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was soooo excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was soooo excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
my bro, alan sent me some inspirational message... nice one bro!
no kidding, no messing around, do CLICK HERE for your inspirational message of the day......
Wait for the first 3 candles to go out then watch the 4th candle...
speaking of click, saw the movie, CLICK, last night. it was once again, feel good movie from adam sandler. haven't been to theaters these days... i find it way too expensive... better spend those hard earned moolah on booze...ehehehe
we had a meeting last night with the rest of the bar owners who were unceremoniously evicted, the one's left standing at Mango Square mall (yeah, see those remaining structures in there?)... and, who'd been in the news for the case we filed against the management.
the agenda? well, it's a secret... for now. what i can tell you though, is, we made a few progress. we also had a few rosy "things" going on... we're hopeful and keeping our fingers crossed.
btw, it's earl v's birthday today. thanks for the beer, buddy! hope you will invite us over to your new crib malou's been ranting about and serve us more drinks... yey!!
i'm done.... click.
no kidding, no messing around, do CLICK HERE for your inspirational message of the day......
Wait for the first 3 candles to go out then watch the 4th candle...
speaking of click, saw the movie, CLICK, last night. it was once again, feel good movie from adam sandler. haven't been to theaters these days... i find it way too expensive... better spend those hard earned moolah on booze...ehehehe
we had a meeting last night with the rest of the bar owners who were unceremoniously evicted, the one's left standing at Mango Square mall (yeah, see those remaining structures in there?)... and, who'd been in the news for the case we filed against the management.
the agenda? well, it's a secret... for now. what i can tell you though, is, we made a few progress. we also had a few rosy "things" going on... we're hopeful and keeping our fingers crossed.
btw, it's earl v's birthday today. thanks for the beer, buddy! hope you will invite us over to your new crib malou's been ranting about and serve us more drinks... yey!!
i'm done.... click.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
all about marriage... and whatever!
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Losing a wife can be hard. In some cases, it's almost impossible.
He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problems disappear.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you??
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Losing a wife can be hard. In some cases, it's almost impossible.
He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problems disappear.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you??
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
Ten Husbands, Still, "Like a Virgin"
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well,
Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
The Lord and the Biker
A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied,
"Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied,
"Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
Monday, October 02, 2006
whatever things
been experimenting with colors... it's been pretty easy. except for a few snag, i got what i wanted look(s) for this blog. html's not that hard to understand but you gotta have time...a lot of it... to read, experiment and apply. now, if only i have all the time in the world for this....
well, what i did was, took a few links out and move a few somewhere. remove some eyesores and "tried" to keep it simple.
what i noticed about those blogs up there isn't really much of the "fashion" but the simplicity. of course, there's the content. some, though, has it all... nice graphics, images, movies, music and pretty much sensible in every way. you can feel the zest for life...
so, what is my point? damn, i don't know.... i wish, to be exact.
my friend earl went to our house last sunday and as usual, we had our "videoke sessions." even though our voices (especially mine) would crack even at the slightest increase of the music's pitch, we went ahead anyway, shamelessly.
we sang songs from the 70's to the most recent. when we reach a certain part of the song, we pass the mike to each other in between... we needed a breather... whew! i have to work on my breathing techniques.... wonder how the heck sarah and regine reach those super high notes without losing breath, man??
we capped the night messing around my pc and chat over yahoo messenger 'til we drop.
meanwhile, went to the surplus/repair shop yesterday to check on our mini-van. it's been there since last week for a much needed repair and paint. watching all those vehicles being put together and those that just got painted. wow! they're not even brand new but my eyes were drolling especially at the sight of one subaru mini car. it has the same engine configuration from the one we have but it looks really nice and cute. the car was sold already... some lucky a--hole got it first. a lot of nice vehicles were there and they ain't that pricey. someday, i'm gonna go back there and get me one of those little nice car they have.
anyway, the van should check out fine today and wifey would have a field day driving it around and showing it off..... she does that all the time.... hate it!
nuf said, adios!
well, what i did was, took a few links out and move a few somewhere. remove some eyesores and "tried" to keep it simple.
what i noticed about those blogs up there isn't really much of the "fashion" but the simplicity. of course, there's the content. some, though, has it all... nice graphics, images, movies, music and pretty much sensible in every way. you can feel the zest for life...
so, what is my point? damn, i don't know.... i wish, to be exact.
my friend earl went to our house last sunday and as usual, we had our "videoke sessions." even though our voices (especially mine) would crack even at the slightest increase of the music's pitch, we went ahead anyway, shamelessly.
we sang songs from the 70's to the most recent. when we reach a certain part of the song, we pass the mike to each other in between... we needed a breather... whew! i have to work on my breathing techniques.... wonder how the heck sarah and regine reach those super high notes without losing breath, man??
we capped the night messing around my pc and chat over yahoo messenger 'til we drop.
meanwhile, went to the surplus/repair shop yesterday to check on our mini-van. it's been there since last week for a much needed repair and paint. watching all those vehicles being put together and those that just got painted. wow! they're not even brand new but my eyes were drolling especially at the sight of one subaru mini car. it has the same engine configuration from the one we have but it looks really nice and cute. the car was sold already... some lucky a--hole got it first. a lot of nice vehicles were there and they ain't that pricey. someday, i'm gonna go back there and get me one of those little nice car they have.
anyway, the van should check out fine today and wifey would have a field day driving it around and showing it off..... she does that all the time.... hate it!
nuf said, adios!
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