Tuesday, October 31, 2006


i miss the beach....

haven't been to one for months... very nice beach there, right?

love country music especially when i'm under the influence.... sorry new wave boys and girls.... tonight, john denver and whatever country pandora.com plays, i'll listen!!

.... but, it's never too late to try... heeee haaaaw!

Monday, October 30, 2006

finally, bought me a new multi-purpose firearm for protection...

now, nobody messes with the dude!

nice ride

help! farb won't wake up!!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
do NOT click THIS!

written by someone majorly ticked off!!!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say, "Life is short." What?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?



Memo from Director General to Manager:

Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.

Memo from Manager to Department Head:

Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.
The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.

Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:

The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.

Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:

Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.

Memo from Supervisor to staff:

Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director General disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.

Friday, October 27, 2006

if you have any complains as to the content of this BLOG, go to our nearest complaint department.... you know when you're there when you find that section similar to the image above.

he he he
thought this was funny... hehehe.... LMAO

check THIS out....

then THIS....

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Why you should NEVER post your PICTURES on the Internet....

the new FHM model



Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "you're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha, wow, she's naked! What the hell? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor, my good friend in there with her... He's naked too! That bitch! That bastard!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I do a flat rate, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now"?

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the husband impatiently.

"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."
click on the links below to see some darn dangerous creatures....


ever wonder where the "Any" key is on your keyboard...

parking parking parking

don't we all wish we have a parking system like this? we could save a lot of space y'know...

Virginity Test

Two guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding..."I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."

His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue.

On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the
funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

where's michael?

wonder no more.... he's gone bad!

"smooth criminal" or "bad" - best backround music for this image.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

love style...

since it's the end of ramadan, i feel like being chummy today if you don't mind....

so HERE goes....


wonder no more....

i'm also a fan of several blogs out there, but since migrating to the beta version, i couldn't make any comments anymore... dunno why but i'm itching, boys and girls to be heard... hopefully, blogger.com could fix this "situation" soon...

so, to all noypi's, especially to the southside creeps, happy holiday....

Monday, October 23, 2006

stress relief

ey ladies!

this is what you do to your boyfriend, lover, husband.. whatever! if and when you found out they're screwing around....

Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).

Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of S.H.I.T. allready.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
btw, i am undergoing all of the above training... thus, my post/s is full of shit...

Sunday, October 22, 2006

britney spears - strip tease game

you wanna strip britney spears naked?

you need a real steady hand like a surgeon to do that....

to know if you have it, you know what to CLICK

btw, advance..... ah, you'll know when you're done with the game.

Calories & Sex

It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now no one had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research we are proud to present the results.

With her consent........................ 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

With both hands.......................... 8 Calories
With one hand........................... 12 Calories
With your teeth..........................85 Calories

With an erection......................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

Missionary..................................12 Calories
69 lying down............................78 Calories
69 standing up..........................112 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................... 216 Calories
In the bathtub .........................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.....................912 Calories

Real....................................112 Calories
False...................................315 Calories

Lying in bed hugging.................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories

If you are: 20-29 years old...........36 Calories
30-39 years..............................80 Calories
40-49 years.............................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................972 Calories
60-69 years............................2916 Calories
70 and over........................... Results are still pending

Calmly.................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry.............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door....... 1218 Calories
With her husband knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories

blue balls

"I think I have a problem, Doc," says the patient, "One of my balls has turned blue."

The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.

"Are you crazy?" bursts the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?"

"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, and the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.

Two weeks after the operation, he comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."

Again, the doctor tells him if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too and, again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.

"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doc, and the patient has to agree with the operation.

But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returns to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."

After briefly examining the patient, the doc gives him the bad news: if he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, he does not want to hear about it.

"You want to die?" asks the doctor.

"But... how do I pee?"

"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."

So, he has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters, again, the doctor's office. He is very angry. "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!" "What?" "Can you tell me what the hell is happening!?"

So, the doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know, could it be the dye from your blue jeans?"

Saturday, October 21, 2006

perfect breasts

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for 100 dollars? "
Are you nuts?", she replies. And keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for 1,000 dollars?" he asks again.
"Listen sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?" she says.

So the guy runs again around the next block and faces her again: "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for 10,000 dollars?"
She thinks about it for a while and said, "Hmmm 10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there..."

So they went to that alley and she takes off the blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.
As soon as he sees them he jumps on them and starts caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, burying his face in them.... but not biting.

In the end the woman gets all annoyed and asks: "Are you gonna bite them or what?"

"Nah," he replies. "Costs too much."

...and you thought you had a bad day

The next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year, the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of crap sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and five other divers were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my asshole was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Internet Addiction Test (IAT)

How do you know if you're already addicted or rapidly tumbling toward trouble? Everyone's situation is different, and it's not simply a matter of time spent on-line. Some people indicate they are addicted with only twenty hours of Internet use, while others who spent forty hours on-line insist it is not a problem to them. It's more important to measure the damage your Internet use causes in your life. What conflicts have emerged in family, relationships, work, or school?

Let's find out.

This is a simple exercise to help you in two ways:

(1) If you already know or strongly believe you are addicted to the Internet, this guide will assist you in identifying the areas in your life most impacted by your excessive Net use; and

(2) If you're not sure whether you're addicted or not, this will help determine the answer and begin to assess the damage done. Remember when answering, only consider the time you spent on-line for non-academic or non-job related purposes.

clink on the LINK to see if you're addicted.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The Bean Head, Find It

I bet you guys more than 1 minute.

Find the Man's Head within 3 seconds - You're a genius!

According to medical experiments:
If you can find the Man's Head within 3 seconds, your right brain is developed better than normal people.
If you can find the Man's Head within 1 minute, your right brain is developed normally.
If you can find the Man's Head within 1-3 mintues, your right brain is slow in reacting, you should eat more meat protein.
If you find the Man's Head in 3 minutes or more, your right brain is a disaster... extremely slow in reacting, the only suggestion is, watch more cartoons to help normally develop your right brain.

Eye Test for Cataracts

This test for Cataracts. I heard it has saved people from having to have eye surgery. You should check yourself at least every other month or so.

Do yourself a favor and take this simple vision test. It's an early test for Cataracts. It is simple to do and it's fun.

Remember, Cataracts know no age boundary; young and old can have this "preventable" eye disease.

When you're finished, send this on to those you care about!!!


courtesy of my bro, alan

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

this is true i swear... wifey would take forever to get just one item... why ladies, why???

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

this is soooo coool, man...

click on the LINK and you'll find out how they did it in the movie, The Matrix.

go ahead, don't be shy!

note: have a little patience with the loading... also, you need to download some kindda japanese language stuff... you'll find out as you go along... enjoy!

Silva delivers a lesson in Muay Thai

The former school teacher got schooled.

Rich Franklin came into UFC 64 having never lost a fight in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He was unbeaten in nearly three years and widely regarded as not only one of the elite fighters in the UFC, but in MMA in general. Then, Mr. Franklin met Anderson Silva.

Silva gave the middleweight champion a lesson in Muay Thai. The challenger got Franklin in a tight Muay Thai clinch and Franklin either couldn't break free or chose not to. Either way, Franklin had no answer for a fighter who was stronger and technically superior.

Silva came into the bout with a reputation as a deadly striker. Ironically, he didn't land a punch in the fight that influenced the outcome.

Rarely do you see a fight in which a champion is so thoroughly destroyed by his opponent. We saw it Saturday night. So much for the pre-fight conjecture about Silva, 17-4, not deserving a title shot.

As for what's next for Silva, he jokingly said at the post-fight press conference that he'd like to fight a "clone of himself." That might be the only guy who has a shot against this well-rounded fighter. Based on what we've seen from "The Spider" in two UFC fights thus far, I don't think there's a middleweight in the division right now who would pose a serious threat to the Brazilian.

Silva's easy-going charm outside the octagon belies his ferocity inside it. This guy is scary good. Mike Swick stopped short of calling out Silva at the post-fight presser, but he made it clear that he'd take on Silva now - and, yes, Swick was witness to what Silva did to Franklin

was rooting for rich franklin to win the fight but you know how it is in ufc... there will always be upsets and some shits do happen there all the time...

Monday, October 16, 2006


love to resign.

tomorrow.... i just might.

i don't feel the excitement anymore.

routine routine routine routine routine routine ....

managers.... they rule!

i don't know but everything sucks right now.

tomorrow.... i just might resign.... again.... or have i?

no, it's irrevocable this time....


speaking of resignation, here's a nice LINK about it... go ahead.. check it out!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

it's gonna be "joke time" for -- i don't know... forever?

well, i'm into some kind of transition with my work. soon, i'll be sailing uncharted territory.

not that i'm scared but next week, i'll be doing a different kind of job... and so is val. the "one" up there decided to swap our jobs for two months... we'll see who among us will quit over this cos i'm sure it ain't gonna be me. in fact, i would love to take on val's job forever.

though my job don't necessarily suck, it's packed with problems. through the years though, i have learned to suck it up, roll with it and bottle up my emotions with whatever difficulties i encountered along the way.

for my "violations," i was asked to reply to the "know it all" department why i committed such infractions over and over again. and so in my reply was, well, it came out as a sort of dare for them because apparently, they were comparing my work with val's, which i strongly disagree with.

so there. we swap places... for two months? can they make it forever? i don't necessarily like val's job but it's the perks that he gets that i'm itching to get a piece of. i hope val's cut out for my job cos he's gonna be playing a whole new ball game here.

and yeah, i'd love to see whose gonna win/quit in this game you guys up there are playing... bring it on, baby... fire away!

here's your daily dose....

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel.
The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak,
"Oh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his money!"

Friday, October 13, 2006

Laws Applicable To All Human Residents Of Earth!

Some of it, in some weird way happens most of the time.

1. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

2. Anthony's Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Kovac's Conundrum:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

4. Cannon's Karmic Law:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

5. O'brien's Variation Law:

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Bell's Theorem:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Willoughby's Law:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Breda's Rule:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

11. Owen's Law:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Howden's Law:

You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.

13. Gentlemen's Law:

When you see a beautiful girl, either she is married or you are married.

14. Bachelor's Law:

When you get to meet a beatiful girl in the office, either she is taken, dating, or a single mom.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Teacher asked her student, "Boy. What is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Teacher had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal looks at Teacher and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."

Teacher says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy, after a moment says, "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Boy: "Pockets"
Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy: Shake hands

Teacher : Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Boy: Yep

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that mean s lot of heat and excitement?

Boy: Firetruck

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u have to use ur hand.

Boy: Fork
Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?


Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?


The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "This boy is really intelligent, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!!!!

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"

"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on."

God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."
the world never cease to disappoint me....

i don't know...

i'm very emotional right now...

tomorrow i'll forget about tonight...

i'm listening to some oldies.... my dad, he sure love this song...

i'm sad but i'm happy to listen to... The Way You Look Tonight

love you dad....

night y'all!

the iceman

watch out tito, liddell is coming to get ya... again!