the lowdown

well, whadyaknow.. i'm still kicking!

i dunno for how much longer though. my BP has gone haywire. my heart, lets just say it's been downhill for roughly three weeks now. it's definitely something to watch out for.

been to the doc a few days ago. pop a few pills. it's better but still, i'm not out of the woods yet.

monday, gonna get my ECG result and go to a specialist. a cardiologist, to be exact.

yesterday, i felt better after the visit to the doc, went to smash the weights! shoulder pressed ninety pounds for three. rest. then squeeze out six more reps with a help this time.

after a few minutes of doing presses and pulls in the gym, i felt dizzy and gassed. took off.

today, i tried do some light cardio. just walk a bit faster and inclined a tad. boy,  i felt dizzy and gassed again!

that's a stark contrast to what i can pound before doing HIIT on the treadmill at eight kilometers per hour. really, something awry is goin' on with me.

tsk.. tsk..

all that strength and power, gone in a snap!

at least three pals wanna hang out tonight. i'd love to, but i can't.

gotta heal up if i still can. i get a little anxious just thinking of the what if's.

between then and now, only the good Lord above knows.

gotta stay positive. i don't live for myself alone now. there are people whom i love and depends on me.

it's just how things in the world works.

chillin' time.

outsmart

there's a bit of shayt going around the office lately. some new folks are up my ass.. i've been doing a lot of emails to the semi-big boss explaining things. it kinda zapped the zest outta me.

we're pretty busy right now with all the shebang of things that's going on.. these kinda thing just take your focus away. i know... it's their job. might have been that they are ordered from the higher echelon of them - management.

well, lets just see how thing shape up in the coming days... then, come up with an action plan.

anyway, work can go the eff itself off... let it worry by itself.. ya know what? bring it on!!

meanwhile, conditioning had been improved a bit. the endurance had gone up, thank you!

it's gonna get tweaked, adjusted and more importantly, bump-up as days passes by.

i've got a lot of unfinished stories to tell. someday, it'll be given its proper closure. if i wasn't worried about anything else, i'd love to get me some freedom.

gotta bust my ass... for now.

MAN-UP!!

thought of sooooo many things to say.. i haven't collated everything. sucks, huh?

yeah it does.

anyway, my personal life's in disarray.. it might not look like it, but it does. work, as always sucks.. got a few things that needs immediate action or it'll blow over.

i'm prepared for the worst though.

home... ahhhhh home... these guys and gals can't get things done without being told how to do about it.. well, they do get things done only that they kinda suck along the way.

they suck literally. ya know, they can't even help putting food on the table, worst part is, they don't know how to conserve... they can practically drain our resources in a short span of time.. talk about days.. shit, these folks are animals... i can't even begin to enumerate the what's and the how's.

not to mention, some are a real pain in the ass.. they just know where to push your buttons.. well, most of the time, i don't mind 'em.

they can keep their miserable shits to themselves... i'll go on live my life.

today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life, i promise myself one thing.. and one thing only.. that is, to MAN-UP.

i can't worry about everyone else' issues.. if i do, it'll just drag me down.. na-ah!

no way never.. bitching about other's issues won't lead me anywhere but down.. stuck!

so yes, i won't worry my life away.. maybe a tad.

guess, i'm born like that...

set a new PR this week.. i finally flat bench press the darn 100 pound dumbbells for five repetitions! that took forever, yeah?!

that was my promise to myself that before the year ends, i should conquer the darn thing.. and i have..

my deadlift went up 180 kgs for one rep... not bad for an old timer, eh?!

lets sing together now..

judgement day

am not out of the woods yet.

i'm trying to stay calm. tomorrow, the verdict should be out.

i did it.. not because there's so much to gain.. but lotsa pressure from all corners.

more reason to have a change of perspective, yeah?

i'm pretty psyched and prepared.. sorta.

anyhoo, i was pretty strong at the gym earlier.. broke some PR's.

for squats, all in kilograms, started with 40 x 3, 80 x 3, 120 x 3, 160 x 3 and lastly, 180 x 3, then i drop the weight back to 160 x 5 all the way down 40 x 5.

same goes with the deadlifts except that at the top of the set, i only managed to get it to 170 x 3.. probably because my CNS' pretty toasted by then.

all these lifts, by the way excludes the bar which is roughly about 40 pounds, give and take.

basically, i've gone over 400 pounds on both lifts today and i'm pretty happy.

got this protocol somewhere and tweak it to my liking.

so, even though what i'm about to face tomorrow is a huge distraction, i still manage to squeeze out some serious workout and even broke a few PR's.

i'd rather not worry...