Friday, September 29, 2006

The way the World Divided.

i don't think i wanna write anything today.... it's time consuming.

nothing's coming out of my brain anyway. must have been due to my alcohol and nicotine withrawal days, huh?

the only time i get to think about posting anything sensible is when i'm driving; be it on a two-wheeled or a cage. of course, the best time i wanna mess around here is when my bloodstream overflows with alcohol more than my leukocytes. other than that, it would be any other day like today. boring.

anyway, just "migrated" this blog to beta blogger. it's almost the same but with a few refinement (haven't tinker with the whole thing just yet). i think this one's a lot better. try it!


so we've met again. i mean, that girl i told you before, we've met again. well, she never ceases to amaze me (us actually). at 23, ladies and gentlemen, the lady is a pimp. that's right, your vision was correct when you read, "pimp." so, i was right all along about my impression on her. get this, her "units" are coed's. yeah, that's right... college girls still wearing their uniforms when they're about to be pick-up. and, the cost of goods er, service -- whatever, you ask? between 2 to 5k. no wonder she likes hanging-out in those high-end bars.... to sell her "wares."


lately, there's not much action going on in my daily routine. actually, there is but ain't worth mentioning here at all. my routine has been work-home-work. to be honest, i like it this way. after all the times we've spent before in you know where, i really could use a breather.... from alcohol and nicotine, that is. i've been reading a few stuff, learning new skills and spending more time with the family... very ideal set-up, isn't it? let's just say i like it this way at the moment and i wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world... (ow c'mon... too cheesy!)


my best friend, earl, texted me the other day. his work application abroad finally, after nth times of trying, had been given the green light. i'm excited for him but at the same time, sad. see, no matter how many friends i may have today, this guy, without a doubt, is the best of 'em all. simply put, nothing compares to this guy.

we've been through thick and thin since the time when underwear was passé.... i hope he makes it BIG out there and come home filthy rich.

[to be continued]

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization:

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.

Then I noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" "Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Monday, September 25, 2006


When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me.

I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, It is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my Speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea....

I called Asshole #1. "Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my Black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2. Hello?" he said. "Hello, asshole," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34thStreet.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. You know, this anger management stuff really works...........................................

Sunday, September 24, 2006

it's 1am.

i'm having trouble sleeping.

i don't know why.

but i'm getting there.

don't we all love mondays?

peace and good morning y'all!


matt hughes wins!

if you've been an mma (mix martial arts) fan, watch the ultimate fighter over axn (mondays @8pm), dig ultimate fighting championship (replays) every tuesday nights, had been reading paul taneo's columns at Sun.Star (whatever happened to him), and been to URCC (Universal Reality Combat Championship) tournament fights held at cebu coliseum (usually), chances are you know matt hughes.

anyway, i was rooting for him to win the fight over bj penn. bj's good but he's too cocky and forward.

today is a good day, isn't it?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

i love this sign

Ever wonder what Women's faces look like during climax? WIRED Magazine did an article about the up and coming "Science of Sex." Definitely a fun read and the picture..... well, PRICELESS!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

side track

last night's experience was surreal. i didn't (me and somebody who came out of nowhere... in short, secret) expected that such angelic face, silky smooth skin and, an hourglass figure was some wild lady!

now, i'm not the kind who jumps to conclusion but, vibrators, boyfriends, x-rated dvd's, constant clubbing and bar hopping, giving cell phone number to strangers, almost became a sexy star, hanging out with who's who in makati, one night stand, having a baby at 18, ... ewww, the list could go on... are you for real, lady??

man, dude, bud, for the many years of my existence in this planet called earth, i haven't met somebody of her caliber. finally, i have. not that i don't want to but i was having a bit of culture shock. if there's more extreme than being "liberated," that's her.

i'd say she's pretty much a loose woman. at 23, her level of sophistication is immense.

she's got hots for my friend. she looks at him with those sticky eyes... it's like she can't wait to devour him. dude, she kissed him in front of everybody! picture this, the place is packed like we're just half a meter away from the other tables and, perhaps not satisfied with her -- smooching my friend, she made me kiss her cheeks! shoot, what the hell is going on here??!

what an awkward night it was. anyway, i enjoyed it a bit.


i felt sad and relieved mat is gone. although he's been performing well the last few months, the thought of having him spruced up, repainted and reconditioned didn't sit well with our tight budget. our crib, though on the finishing stages --- we're still spending a lot.

besides, i rarely use the car -- for a whole lot of good reason (if you've been reading my previous post about mat).

so, when a buyer came in last sunday, and bought it 50% off the price when i first bought it (not to mention, i spend a huge amount of money trying to restore it), "SOLD!!" was my immediate reply.

well, i hope they'd take care of mat. for so many times i drove that car, i have learned to bottle up my emotions whenever it bugs down on me and just call Wheelers Towing Services to take care of him. it taught me a good lesson with the subject: patience101. once in a while(or should i say, more often than not), mat refreshes me about the subject.

bye mat, i hope you're good wherever you are and please, please, pretty please, DON'T COME BACK NO MORE YOU PIECE OF CRAP!!! got that?


btw, here's a last look at mateo....

meanwhile, i'm not supposed to be writing tonight but the urge finally came, especially with what happened last night.

over and out.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

i'm burned out as of the moment.

i'd like to be quiet....


Friday, September 15, 2006

i wanna write something but i'm beery sleepy and the inspiration hasn't strike me yet.


Monday, September 11, 2006

episode 01

so we had a terrorist bomb er, lpg blast yesterday, huh? was driving my way to work and was surprised to see at least three ambulances plowing thru traffic. two made it to the opposite lane but the other went headsmack my lane! geez, who could have needed all that ambulance, i thought.

later, louie texted me. he's in mango, "the battleground" of the hard ball tenants... sipping some coffe and smoke some shit... he took an "emergency leave" cos apparently, he was near the site where the blast happened.

good excuse my man! after all, you're pretty tired with your job, right?

anyway, let's just say we had a temporary victory yesterday with all this legal thingy. we're hopefull we'd get what we deserve... fingers crossed.


meanwhile, last saturday i had a flirty chat session with a lady over yahoo messenger. for over a year, i haven't had the chance to use it and since we don't have a bar to hang out 'til dawn as of the moment, i got stuck chatting and pissing people off over there at "Cebu Tambayan" room.

it is supposed to be lorded over by "bisrocks" people but apparently, spammers, korean, indian and some horny guys/gays from hell were the one's yakking there. and, since i really don't have plans nor interest (for that night, maybe) to be cordial, went on taunting whomever's got the ball to say anything... especially those darn spammers..

one had a ball actually and did react to my constant jeering but he's (i presume) no spammer but some foreign guy who flaunt his sooo bad english, as in. he murdered the english bloody language, bloke!

i thought he was some korean (excuse me guys but some of you are pain in the ass in our country!). after a few more while and more exchanges of fiery words, i finally figured it out. he is from india. why? his name gave him away. and so, i hit 'em where it hurt... nah, not worth mentioning but we do have a few indians here who make our penniless brethren's life harder... you get the drift?

busted that he is, he went out of the room. i guess i'm pretty successful with my nastiness, huh.

then somebody asked, "naay tiga cebu diri?" then i blurted, "ako!" then he pm me and asked my "asl...." if you know what that means... if you don't, where have been all this time? but you can always ask....

meanwhile, had to cut this short... there's an "emergency meeting" somewhere....

[to be continued]

Friday, September 08, 2006

looks like our bar is gonna be demolished real soon... too bad, we're starting to really love it there but the "moralist" among us wouldn't let us be... we didn't have any "plan B" whatsoever cos we never anticipated nor did it ever crossed our minds that it's going to end up this way.

sarsy's at the forefront of this battle we're raging but having witnessed and heard all that legal chats we've been having (like daily er, i mean, nightly) with the other tenants; kind of drain me a bit... i'm afraid, instead of cutting our losses and moving on, we might be consumed with this battle --- only God knows how we're gonna pull this off.

of course, i'm keeping my hopes up but it's not like we have all the resources to go on with this forever. and slowly, the other tenants who were with us before are backing off and just accept whatever "favorable" compensation is being offered to them... just to tide things over rather than wait 'til eternity, i supposed.

those management guys are creeping on each and everyone of us, tardily...

i like how paul walker expressed his worry in the movie, "2 fast 2 furious" when he said (in a paraphrase), "we're gonna have to pull some monkey off our asses to win this race..." yeah, that's what i thought when this shit came out...

we're up against some wall here and i don't think luym's just gonna bend over with tails between their legs and say, "name your price, pricks?"

suffice to say, it'll be too damn easy.

so, inhabitants of earth, there goes my tittle-tattle for the day...

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Quadruple Amputee joke

A man is walking along a beach, when he walks past a young woman lying on a blanket, crying. The girl's face and figure are quite attractive, but she has no arms or legs. The man walks over and asks, "Excuse me, miss, why are you crying? Can I help you with something?"

The girl looks up at him and says, "I'm twenty-five years old, and I've never been kissed! Would you please kiss me, like a man kisses a woman?"

The man leans over her, and they kiss for several minutes, which she seems to appreciate. She thanks him, and he gets up and starts walking away. But then he hears her behind him, crying even louder than before. Being a nice guy, he goes back and asks, "What's wrong now? You've been kissed. Aren't you happy?"

"Yes, I'm happy that you kissed me," she says, "but I'm twenty-five years old, and no one's ever played with my breasts or my pussy."

So, once again, he obliges, and helps her out of her bathing suit, and lies down beside her. He plays with her for a while, which both of them enjoy. Then he helps her back into her bathing suit, and heads off again. Only to be brought back by her sobs, which are now louder than ever.

"What now?" he asks. "I've kissed you, I've played with you, I've told you how beautiful you are. Aren't you happy?"

"Yes," she says, "I'm happy for all that, but I'm twenty-five years old, and I've never been fucked."

So he leans over, lifts her in his arms, walks down to the water's edge, throws her out as far as he can into the waves, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED NOW!!!"


excuse this raunchy joke but i thought this was funny... anyway, i'm caught with the "lazy" virus to write anything... must have been the rain and the cold weather... hooohuuum.... *yawn*

'til then... out for now.

Monday, September 04, 2006


I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for taxi. I grabbed a card on my way in.

It was an ad for a girl calling herself Ivy, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up... you know the kind.

So I'm in my room and figure, "What the heck, I'll give her a call."

"Hello?" the woman says.

Wow! She sounded sexy.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want, baby! Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic.... but for an outside line, Sir, you need to dial 9."

Sunday, September 03, 2006

yey! got my pc back together!!!

replace all the components today... put back all the drives, cards and rewired the whole thing... whew! you should listen to it cos now it's really, really quite... and cool.

got a huge smile in my face tonight... felt so good to know that i still have some "mojo" when it comes to computers... awwww yeah!!

i'm listening to hale's feel good song, blue sky... try it, it's nice.

sweet dreams y' all...

Friday, September 01, 2006

beach roots and sarsy

i feel sad for sarsy.

beach roots was his "baby." in fact, it's almost a wonder if his butt won't show up every single night at b.r. every detail of every corner of that kiosk, he knows it. he did a lot of the carpentry and painting. he, more than the rest of us, made it happened.

because of him, i had a refresher course with initiative. when we started this joint, he took it upon himself to do the extra mile. he would wipe the tables, chairs, the bar, the appliances. he'd wash dishes in a flicker, serve foods and drinks in a blink and if only he can do it all, he would, without a doubt.

sensitive that i am, i try to follow his lead. i know i can't level with him especially on his carpentry skills, so i do the things i'm capable of. man, those were the days...

so many times he would sacrifice his time for his family and work just to get things going there seamlessly. i can see how passionate he is for this "baby" of his, firstly, then ours...

and now, it's gone...

so, last thursday dawn, the big guy that he is, when he brokedown and cried, wept and wailed his heart out, i would have wanted to be there for him. as a friend, a partner... a bro.... i would never have had any doubt i would weep with him with the death of our "baby."

to remember the days when we started this out... the planning, the bickering, controversy, the fits among ourselves, the sweat, the cuts and the pains, the trials, the friendship... man, i can go on and on forever with the memories... they're all bittersweet.

all of these things that are happening to us hasn't sink in yet for me... i guess it happened too fast...

soon it will.

for now, let me wallow in sorrow... not really for me but for a person who showed a lot of energy when everbody seem down, tired and busy, who kept the faith when our odds are low, who walk the talk, who took the lead unflaggingly, showed me genuine friendship and made me, in so many ways, a better person.

cio, in my book, you're the MAN.