Wednesday, June 28, 2006

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property."

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "most days he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I never wanted a divorce...

It's husband. He says he can't communicate with me!"
Did you know, that ..

[Sorry for all of the spelling errors in it. - I'm only human - by TumbeTV]

thought this is cool and informative... check it out, dohwg!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

if you dig drama... this is where not to look

i'm really, really tired of this crap.

i'd love to take this blog out of circulation. what's the point exposing one's self to the whole wide world?? be famous? maybe share all that dramas in your life... and then maybe, just maybe, some giant network picks your story... hey girl, that's pretty convenient!

maybe bloggers are like artist. they wanna express themselves by well, posting their mystic thoughts, ideas and works about the universe and beyond. nah!

whatever that is, i'd like to know why.

to be perfectly honestly, i'd like to level with you guys and gals (whomever, whatever) but i guess, you're a little far out. either way, i like the way you think.

i'm a little cranky today.

i'm hoping, after i'm done with this nonsense, i'd feel better.

oh yeah, blogging is suppose to be therapeutic.

my hangover's starting to subside... is that a good sign?

and another - 'oh yeah!!' there are excellent blogs out there that tackles a lot of subjects, such as cooking, how to's, latest technology/gadgets, politics, computers... to sex, drunks, ek-eks, etcetera, etcetera....

i read 'em. in fact, i waste a lot of time browsing thru these blogs.

lately, i've been doing a lot of reading (pa 'as if' ba). absorbing whatever relevant information i bump into. after eons of dullness, i finally am able to comprehend a lot of things with ease.

i still have a lot of bad days, though. unable to get a grip of whatever's being said or taught.

and i mean, a lot.

the reason?

well, here's the drama part of this episode... you might wanna get your napkins ready... kidding.

growing up, mother (may her soul rest in peace), geared us, me in particular, with loads of exhibiting faults and errors... as in and i mean, really bad.

i was a little disobedient and naughty among the siblings but, that don't justify the enormous amount of whippings and the beatings i get even for the tiny, little misdeeds i have committed.

so, learning for me in school -- the hardest. especially, when i had to nurse a bruise body and a bleeding self esteem. notwithstanding, along with my heavy backpack, is a heavy heart i had to carry with me in school.

in addition, it didn't help that we, the children of the sun (anak sa singot - no need to argue), were sent to a public school where a lot of baloneys are done outside rather than in the classroom.

worst, daddy had to die too soon. i was only 13.

that, to us, was the hardest part in our growing-up stage - having no father.

i'd like to believe that i'm in a better place now... i do.

my momma, she redeemed herself in the latter part of her life... she cooked us great foods, took care of the house, showed us love (me in particular), gave us moral support (and money too!).

9 years had passed and i still miss mother a lot. i dreamed of her still alive, walking around, yelling to me (in a good way), do some delicious cooking, squeaky clean the bathroom (her favorite fortress, by the way), over there in our old apartment(s).

but, the ghost of the past will forever haunt me...

this ends our drama session.

sigh, i feel better now...

Friday, June 23, 2006

mess with the best, die like the rest...

on my way to work yesterday, i was in my usual morning routine -- wake-up late and hurry-up for work, that is. there are days i simply drive an average speed even when i'm really, really close to getting that most coveted, "tardiness award of the year."

i couldn't care less... work's been boring lately. but that's another post.

anyway, yesterday, i decided to push the envelope to the limit... i needed to prove to myself that eventhough i was hanging my ass out at beach roots the night before with 5 bottles of strong ice beer flowing through my arteries and, went home a little late (if 12 mn is late for you, wussy), that i could wake-up and make the 8' o' clock 'habit' of an 8-5 job.

so there, i was speeding, yes but, as safely as i could be... weaving through traffic... left and right... 'til i arrived at banilad area near gaisano country mall where the climax of the sex, i mean, the story begins.


while on a stop, this was the scenario:

in front of me, a nissan frontier pick-up; behind me, an isuzu elf cargo truck. my bike's tires planted on the yellow line that's suppose to separate a four lane road.

8-10 meters away from me is the traffic enforcer. as straight as the quarter mile track of srp where dragsters race, was his direction towards me.

the plan - squeeze the throttle to the max in order to overtake the nissan frontier in front of me and then hopefully shoot my way inside his lane before i run over the enforcer or get smack right-out by the frontier.

so, off i went to execute my 'brilliant' plan...

all of a sudden, half way through the process, my ride couldn't overtake the frontier cos apparently he didn't want me to dive in front of him. he honk me to death making me screech to a halt right in front of the traffic enforcer! worst, when i tried to get my ass back into the goddamn lane, the isuzu elf was just 3 feet away from me! damn, that was foul, hombre!

defensive driving manual dictates (per se), "don't expect the other guy behind the wheels to do exactly what you think."

so i forgot the basics... so sue me!

the driver of the elf truck was screaming at me (i don't know what and i don't care) but my heart was trembling and pumping so hard, my adrenaline -- rushing like hell!

immediately, i went full throttle to catch up with that 'sonofabitch' driver and maybe give him the finger or just return the favor. in my mind, he couldn't possibly have the balls to smash his pick-up on a two-wheeled vehicle.

caught up with him after 50 meters of hard core chasing and weaving....

surprise!! surprise!! i managed to get my bike side by side with his pick-up... i knew with the way he drove earlier, he's gonna overtake whomever is in front.

unfortunately for him, he was at the left lane of the road trying to overtake a slow moving vehicle but he couldn't do it on the left side cos he would smash straight-up to incoming vehicles.

so, you guess it, he went and tried to go in my direction... that was brilliant idea creep! where did you get that, chololo??!

he tried, alright, but i'm not about to budge.

next thing i knew, he was gonna make a right turn going to i.t. park just like i was... payback time baby!

honk him to extinction when he attempted to move in my lane... how you like what you did back there, contumelious driver??!

after the turn, i piss him off by slowing real down... behind my ass, i would have ask, "how's my hump, jerk-off??" had he lowered his window.

when everything cleared, he overtook me and gave me that dagger look, i swear, could pierce through blocks of ice. boy, it was priceless.

i would have wanted him to stop cos i haven't been to a slugfest for months. i'd like to know if i could still slap some ass like what randy couture did to tito ortiz during their ufc championship ...har har har!

to my disappointment, he didn't. ah well, some sissy, i guess. since i was successful enough getting into his nerve and got my revenge, why not drive the dagger home and really, really get him to a boiling point???

yeah, why not!!

drove my bike to extremes again (like valentino rossi) to catch-up with sissy (now, he's got a name!) and tailed him all the way to salinas drive... damn sissy drives like he's a formula 1 driver, eh...

i was behind him for a while until he decided to turn right (again!) before the shell station in salinas... ahhhh, nevermind him, i thought. besides, i'm sure, sissy should really, really be fuming by now.

at the back of my mind, i hope he was just taking a shortcut and would eventually exit the road near cambridge school... adrenaline junky that i am, i was starting to have fun.

what do you know, sissy did took a short cut. what's the matter sissy boy, couldn't handle the heat, huh?? it was obvious he saw me but unfortunately for him, his frontier was too slow climbing up the hill.

finally, i decided to surcease the torture... speed-up to the max and smoked him behind.

besides, i needed to accomplish my objective for the day: never be late for work.

07:51 - i arrived.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

do you remember?


shut up!!!

i can't concentrate...

that's it!

today, i'm suppose to unleash tons of craps/thoughts/rants/musings... whatever!

guess not...


they wont shut the fuck up!



let's look at the moon tonight, instead...

while we're at it, let's sing:

I Want You by Third Eye Blind

this is a test...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

[courtesy of my bro, alan]

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston . After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.

They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the Hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.

"The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows, "complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.

He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, this check is only made out for $50."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad," the man replies." She was here and you could have."

Management Lessons

[courtesy of my bro, alan]

Lesson One

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you! and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson - Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.


Lesson Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson -

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

very important is this...
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your two minute management course.

Monday, June 19, 2006

delicious tina and friends...
with sarsy...

cute, faceless bar hopping kid...i was aiming to take a pic of the band but....
the busy kitchen....
hope they didn't got drunk with that glass of ice tea they ordered....


some folks wanted to see their faces in this ever growing, "soon-to-be-famous" blog of whatever things...

so there...

happy now??

Sunday, June 18, 2006

pbb teen

wifey had a field day yesterday taking pictures of these teen star wannabees. she was there wasting practically half of her day while neil and yours truly -- abandoned and left to fend for ourselves.

what's with these teensy-weensy boys/girls from pbb that wifey and the rest of the neighborhood "telenovela freaks," are willing to risk life and limb just to find out what they look like in person? just can't get enough, huh?

well, at least i have something for you, my legions of fans (excuse my assuming-ness...), who might have a thing or two for this kind of CRAP ---- yeah, that's my little and unwillful indignation for the millions of eerie fans of this voyeuristic tv show. just a pinch... its not gonna hurt... promise...

are you one of them? c'mon, you can tell me... go ahead... reveal yourself...

anyhoo, enjoy!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

i'll never grow tired of beach....

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

33 percent.

from 22, i just boost my completion percentile to 33.

you know how important this is to my career? very importante, comprender?

for two successive days, i put up a lot of sweat in between my legs just to up with my current stats...

for two successive days, i burn up a lot of my brows just to crawl my way to the top...

and, for two successive days, i strained my pupils and my "finger-lickin good" finger tendons, trying sooo hard to evade any distraction in order to rise through the ranks...

to get the latest, state of the art "pro" specs of my unit, i needed to beat all odds that come my way...

ladies and gentleman,

welcome to the new world (er, not so new cos i posted about it months ago) i am currently, truly, madly and deeply immersed into:
(click on the links, looney!)






nice... isn't it?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Criss Angel And Half A Woman

bizarre or bullshit... what do you think johnny knoxville?
Britney Dateline Interview Commercial

just can't get enough of britney...

Monday, June 12, 2006

where do i begin....?

the dull er, doll haus...
the shapely pool
our room's front view and a giant itching to chow down some meaty humans...
i don't how and where to begin...

should i talk about our company's team building seminar slash excursion or, the forgettable two and half days of computer gaming misadventure slash discovery slash national geographic slash reality tv channel mumbo jumbo channel surfing???

this is gonna be a lousy tale, i know...

to begin my off-topic powwow (cos believe me, i wont have any straight-up, eye catching, attention grabbing, stories to tell) today, we'll talk about the moon and the stars...

heh! aren't you bored yet?

really, i was browsing thru a lot of blogs lately and come up with an ironclad conclusion: gross, sex, profanity and crap - sells. well, there are heartwarming stories of people, yes... and the how to's were cool too. the tech·ie's stuff - great for the nerdie's.

guess i'm just hanging on the other side (ok, wrong then) of the fence that much, huh? maybe. but i'm really tempted to test my inconclusive findings (thought ironclad conclusion??): create another blog, talk about sex and violence, filthy stuffs, be abusively vulgar, show some really graphic video's (use your imagination).... whatchathink, dawg?

nah.can't swallow no shit like that, compadre!
back to our company seminar slash excursion. the place is cool. 80km away from civilization (val told me so), 1km away more from the gates to the kingdom. the structure where me and the rest of the peps are holed up, looked like, felt like and, smelt like a doll house. now, all we need are some barbie dolls and some g.i. joes to complete the settings. i'd love to whack those pretty little barbie dolls to pieces... sorry biatch!

chronicling the whole affair would be tedious as it was a ho-hummer... well, for the most part of it. in fairness, the beach was nice. there were some white sands, yeah....near the shore line. a few meters further and it feels like you just step on some shit... oh, there's kayak too. june and elle, the company's "most eligible bachelorettes," were really good at kayak. they couldn't stop at it. they said, "it's good for our chest." wonder why's that. some naughty guys would ask them, "kita nasay mag kayak na" or "mag kayak ta!" or "kami nasay mag kayak beh." whatever that means.

but, no matter how far you'd swim your lungs out, it's almost always low water out there. bummer! didn't i mention there was a pool? well, that's because it's not worth mentioning anyway. with its very tiny, stupidly shaped, with a plastic slide for kids only features - more ho-hummers....

the beer... oh the beer... where's the goddam beer, marichelle?? helloww!! we're done with our task, you know. the fiercely fought competition(s) we have to endure for that day alone... damn, we're tired and we wanna have fun and start early! where's our drink ey? jagger, the unexpected cracker (that's his monicker, by the way, cos he cracks at the slightest pressure) went on to order us our toxin. nevermind that he had to pay a few bucks for it and our company explicitly made sure to bring the most essential part in a team building seminar -- booze.

after dinner, the long wait is over. beer is finally served.

there was awarding, blah, blah, blah....

played billiards with crooked sticks and dull ends. wow, we came all the way from the city to have some fun here and this is what we get? the aircon in that room isn't working either. not so nice, indeed.

we capped the night with jagger - "the hothead cracker," almost kick the ass of our drunk fellow for mouthing some crap at him. good thing, the masculado was there to pacify things. you know the masculado right? you don't know him? well, make a wild guess.

4am we're done with the booze binge for there's nothing left to imbibe. took a 3 hour sleep. the "main man" was snoring literally. what?? with all the food, lechon and the beer we devour that night, you expect me to go down quietely? you kidding me? good!!

8am breakfast. yum!

9am went to swim. as described above, ain't nothing further to add.

10:30am. exchange our painted ceramics (similar to the ones the kids paint at SM). we painted the darn thing the the day we arrived there... my goodness, it's tough getting it done properly!
over at the conference room, where we exchanged our ceramics and gave a short speech as to why we gave it to that person instead of the manager when he/she (the person whom we're giving our ceramics, dickhead!) neither's got the power to promote nor increase his/her lot. damn, i'm trapped in a drama laden room... can't wait to go home.

2:45pm... a long and winding road to home.

SBC Packers

ey, check this out:

Sunday, June 11, 2006

my girlfriend and my buddy

we're on our way to the basement exit of ayala mall... it's hard being a celebrity, you know. people just mugs you no end. at least my buddy and my girlfriend are still smiling while i'm a little annoyed with the unsolicited attention... ü

fans, we need to rest now.


Friday, June 09, 2006

motorcycle stunts

this is fun!
monkey wrench

took this video while we were in casa del mar havin' our annual seminar and excursion.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Volkswagen: Un-pimp Your Ride I

oh yeah!!
Huge Rave! Hot Girls! (2-7)

for a change... let's have some video here, dammit!
Coke and Mentos Experiment

check this out... kewl

Monday, June 05, 2006

i'm nothing but a second-rate, trying hard *sleepy* copycat

int rename(char *paksit™, char *beachroots)

zero is returned upon success, and other integers are returned upon failure
that's my ostentatious display of knowledge with the C programming language (as if i'm good at it..GERO!)

dude, i should rename this blog --- beach roots. i've been blabbing about the place since time immemorial. do i get some royalty here??? nah! nevermind. i'll talk incessantly about the place no matter what, anyhow.

shifting the name to 'beach' instead of 'paksit™' would be passé as there are a lot of beach blogs all over the place. as dennis "the menace" puts it, "they're like dogshit... all over the place."

so, friday was great.

all but one b.r. partners were there. the band played great music... most that we could jam in. soooo many peps, man!! t'was like the best days again, huh? i doff, for a night, my usual poison - strong ice beer, for an equally potent and more filling, red horse round please, andale! andale!

at the back of my head, i ominously predicted i would get some "serious" kick in the head with my choice of drink but, to hell with it... i'm here to enjoy, chum!

as you can see in the pics below, the place is fairly jam-packed. geeez, i'm back to my usual task: glamour boy-helper. well, i gotta. our "empleado's" could use a lot of help from the rest of the crew (find the 'crew' definition below).


Friday, June 02, 2006

suspension of consciousness

after strolling every nook of s.m., the kid is kayoed....
for lack of space to nap, the van's floor was the best choice... wise choice, ey?
notice the mineral water still on his pocket?