Saturday, April 29, 2006


When you say: "Ako ang tigas sa amin."
You really mean: "Ako ang tigas-saing ng kanin,tigas-sampay ng labada at tigas-sundo sa eskuwela ng mga bata."

When you say: "Gagawin ko kahit ayaw ng misis ko."
You really mean: "Gagawin kong maghugas ng pinggan kung ayaw niya, gagawin kong maglaba kung ayaw niya."

When you say: "Kapag sinabi kong hiwalay, HIWALAY!"
You really mean: "Hiniwalay ko na ang puti sa de-kolor at baka kumupas ang labada."

When you say: "Lahat ng utos ko ay pasigaw."
You really mean: "Hoy bilisan mo naman iyang kape at giniginaw na ako dito sa labahan!"

When you say: "Ako ang laging nasusunod!"
You really mean: "Oo, dear susunod na ako sa iyo sa palengke."

When you say: "Nakukuha ko siya sa isang salita!"
You really mean: "Honey, huwag mo na akong batukan at masakit!"

When you say: "Inaabot siya sa akin ng mura!"
You really mean: "'Ling naman, mura lang naman iyong sapatos na bibilhin ko!"

When you say: "Kaya ko siyang paluhurin!"
You really mean: "Paluhod niyang sinabing 'Hoy duwag, lumabas ka riyan sa ilalim ng kama kungdi tatamaan ka sa akin!'"

When you say: "Hindi niya ako kayang pagplantsahin!"
You really mean: "Hindi pwede kasi hindi pa ako tapos maglaba."

Friday, April 28, 2006

A lawyer's good deed

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then," instructed the lawyer.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two children!"

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

He turned to the other man and said, "Come with us."

"But sir, I have a wife and six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!" answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is almost a foot tall."

One Liners

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman:"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman:"Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman:"Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman:"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under the rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman:"Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman:"That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman:"I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman:"No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman:"Do Not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman:"Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman:"You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman:"Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman:"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman:"Ohhhh, you're so right. I want you... to leave."

Man: "If I could just see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman:"Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey, cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman:"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman:"Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous."
Woman:"Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream."
Woman:"Go back to sleep."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?"
Woman:"What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?"

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman:"Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman:"Yes, but would you stay there?"

Thursday, April 27, 2006

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap, he will pay you to be happy

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge - mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


SON: "Dad, I have to do a special report at school. Can I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Sure son, what's the question?"
SON: "What is POLITICS?"
DAD: "Well, lets take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me MANAGEMENT. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her GOVERNMENT. We take care of you and your needs, so let's call you the PEOPLE. We'll call the maid the WORKING CLASS and your baby brother the FUTURE. Now, do you understand politics?"
SON: "I'm not really sure Dad, I'll have to think about it.

That night the boy was awakened by his baby brother's crying so the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering the baby seriously soiled his diaper, the son went to his parent's room and found mother sound asleep. He then went to the maid's room, where peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheard by his father and maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

- The next morning -
SON: "Dad, now I think I understand POLITICS.
DAD: "That's great son, explain it to me in your own words."
SON: "Well Dad, while MANAGEMENT is screwing the WORKING CLASS, the GOVERNMENT is fast asleep. The PEOPLE are being completely ignored, and the FUTURE is full of shit.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar. I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk privately.

We went to this restaurant and he's STILL acting a bit funny. I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's me or something I did or something else. I ask him, and he says no it's not me. But you know I'm not really sure.

So anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me. I don't know what the hell that means because you know he doesn't say it back or anything.

We finally get back to his place and I'm wondering if he's going to dump me! So I try to talk about it but he just switches on the TV. Reluctantly I say I'm going to go to sleep. Then, after about 20 minutes, he joins me and we have sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave.

I dunno, I just don't know, what he's thinking anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else???

Shitty day at work. Tired. Got laid though!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


after arriving from stakili, fatigue strikes in. thankful we arrive in one piece. i got a little cocky behind the wheels earlier. jing, my other half volunteered to drive but no, not today, lady. happy to see the dogs still alive and kicking and was all the more delighted to know that the automatic switch my best-bud, earl installed days ago working seamlessly. took a short nap.

later, vicky cooked up something familiar. mixed-up whatever left overs we had, add a little spices here, salt and pepper there (whatever's in the fridge) and voila! shanghai rice. the left-overs we had at the beach: shanghai rice! yum! ate a lot forgetting that it was 10pm and i'm suppose to sleep early coz tomorrow's another beach. since i can't sleep, scary stories at discovery channel caught my fancy. thought it'll make me drowsy. it didn't help. slept 2am. good job noldy!


nothing to prepare, i guess. woke-up a little late, 8am. after finishing-up with our little chores, we hopped-in and go. arrived at portofino around 9am. a lot of the b.r. peps, there already. i was still reeking full from eating that darn shanghai thing. decided it was all swimming time for me and neil. could use some serious digestion here. i couldn't care less about the others... sorry guys.

after burnin' a lot of skin, went back to our cottage. still had a handful of food left, thank you. had a few drinks here and there. the b.r. employees were having a great time (i hope) with our resident guitar virtuoso, nigel who took good care of the music coz we had none... lots of chit-chat, jokes, etc. - no offense.

we top the day with the banana ride. think it costs us a whopping 2,500/hour. charged to b.r. not bad ey for all the adrenaline rush and fun. i lost my precious shades when sarsy, our designated "ace" driver, took a hard turn and got us all rollin' with the sudden change of direction. won't be fun without us tumbling down... my freakin' shades was way, way down there so deep and dark that free diving to get it back is next to impossible. where the hell are those scubasureros when you need them the most, huh?? kevin lost his too. it was stupid wearing it out there, anyway... considering we are gonna fall, eventually. lesson learn the hard way (again!!!). and who can forget vincent losing his balls er shorts and everything after we rolled. glad i didn't see those shiny little thing...hahaha! sarsy did after vince climb back to that "easy-to-tumble" banana ride. what's that cio, you're gonna be havin' flashback of that "thing" for forty-five days?? creepy.

went home and crash into our sala floor with neil (yes, we have a makeshift bed in there and no, i didn't make it to the room eventhough my wife's driving). i've never been so exhausted like that (unless i hit the gym "wall to wall") in my whole life! exagerrated, huh?

well, those were the happy days.

reality check: back to work.


... i only had a few days of experience waking-up early at the beach... and boy i love it! saturday, woke up around 4am. after that, it was all a cycle of dreaming and day dreaming. other than that, i just can't resist being early at the beach.

there i was sitting just outside our room... took a stroll... smell some fresh air... dex, what's not to like, you ask? none. the coolest. wonder what it's like being in boracay?? hmmmmm... someday, i'll set foot there...

around 8am, sarsy and co. came out of their shell and invited us over for breakfast... we had two complimentaries for that. you know, breakfast by the beach is one experience you look forward to the whole year round...

i wasn't starving but who doesn't wanna eat there? had some banana, toasted bread with butter and jelly, coffe and more... after eating, went to our favorite spot, bar by the poolside. sarsy and kid, hans went swimmin' while i down a few bottles of red horse... he's been teasing me days before that. he was alone though (advance party), sipping some light beer while i was home finishing some household chores.. you creep!

i wasn't swimming no more. had enough the day before. finally, sarsy join me.. we almost forgot we're suppose to check out at 12 noon. by the time we're packed and good to go, we couldn't resist ordering some more...

done paying my tab. it was all worth it. then again, we ordered some more drinks and food. ultimately, we decided it was time to really, really go.

3pm we split.

tomorrow, we go beachin' charged to b.r. yahoo!!

Monday, April 17, 2006


bar at the beach ey? well, my wish - granted. i guess this one's pretty nice. it topped the last three straight lent escapade i had with dex and sarsy. of course, the highlight was yesterday. started slow and ended with a bang!

me and louie had a serious bonding session. i would have been more happy had my best-bud and childhood friend earl came along but he's pretty holed-up with his work and some of his money-making ventures. well we had ours the night before. he installed the automatic floatless relay/magnetic switch for our water pump. hours later, we intoxicate while surfing the net.

my best friend, earl. i don't know what i'm gonna do without you pre! in my book, you're the man!

so, of we went to stakili beach resort on "good" friday. it's a pretty place. i was hoping for some activities such as concerts or disco, but it was rather quiet. i like the silence though. afterall, it's been loud here in the city.

and there we were, bar at the beach by the poolside. now if that ain't cool, i don't know what is. after several bottles of light beers, we up the ante and go for the more potent beverage, gin. whew! is it hot here or what?? had some good conversations, friendly arguments with anything under the sun....

my wife, neil and vicky couldn't get enough of the pool. we came a long way from home just to get a dip in the pool, huh? there was curfew however (san-rem didn't have one) but can't do nothin' about it. anyway, it's night time and must be freakin' cold... clean up and headed for the most awaited night of the day. dinner time!

we feasted on buttered chicken, lechon kawali and tanguige fish soup. yum! like we're supposed to fast. ahhh, we belong to a different breed... er, belief. we're from bantayan you know.

before retreating to our rooms, me and sarsy had a little more bonding with st. miguel - light. open-up with our lives, shared some secrets (we swore to keep, man's honor) and gave few advices.. had a last toast... hit the log.


to be continued...

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


there we are in our favorite hang-out... make a wild guess.

as usual, lots of eyecandy. it's quite a bummer to think though, we are sorrounded by bars. everywhere you look there's bar, bar, bar, bar....

other than the usual bar(s) i hang-out, i only had been to the one in the second floor (forgot it's name) that look like and feels like casbah (don't know if i spelled it right). then there's stilleto that had a grand opening last saturday.

i'm a little uncomfortable with high-end "looking" bars. especially if it's enclosed in aircons. suffocating. well, it was good i went to that grand opening (stilleto's). finally experienced what "open bar" is like. downed copious amounts of sml then gone. it's ten o' clock anyway, open bar-no more. unlike some of my friends who are very sociable, have friends in high places and are so at home mixing it up exquisitely with the rich and famous, i'm quite on the other side. although i'm capable of what they're doing, i certainly am not comfortable. that explain my innocence.

perhaps, one big reason for that is - we were brought up in a different and penniless world. we were invited at parties, yes, out of courtesy, but got an unusual stare from our "rich" neighbors. they probably think we are starving to death and looking at us chow down those dishes we can only dream of, either laugh at or loathe at us. so, being around with them makes me uncomfortable. more so with the social-climbers, rich wannabes, darn pretenders. not to generalize them (i know a few who are real), but majority of them think they're the best person, the cool dude, mr. suave. hey, you're not! people listen to you because you got cash and you wield some powers. other than that, you're senseless and a shmuck!

for some people, it's easy to judge. i don't. i'm pretty grounded. i know where i came from and you certainly can try. so, try.

done with the rich rant and goin' back to bars, i like open bars. i especially like the ones in the beach. the view, the ambiance.... where we can talk of just about anything (i'm pretty diverse)... just chillin'... you know, the works.

that's what i like about discovery channel's maxim, "explore your world." there's still a lot of things to learn, to know, to see and the world's out there... waiting to be discovered. hopefully, everyday, i'll discover more.... and maybe you too...

some smorgasbord thoughts for the day....

Sunday, April 09, 2006

BeacH (again...)

what do you know, went back to that crappy beach again. we didn't plan it. it was one of those "spur of the moment" thing we do all the time. we're the spontaneous kind, you know. we didn't bring any utensils, plates, drinking glass, etc. we just hop-in and go. we'll just have our necessary supplies along the way (along the road to be exact).

didn't took a dip this time. you know, i was with the in-laws so you can imagine how bored i am. but... i have to look at the bright side. i am after all in a place i always fancy, beach.

good thing i brought along my obsolete mp3 player or it could have been worst. fifty songs played over and over again in a span of five hours.... can't wait to go home and do something else. neil, as usual, was having a blast. kids, they just love the beach. before, when i was like neil's age, i used to splash my way into the waters right away whenever me and the family goes to the beach. now, i'm just content doin' "people watch."

my best bud arranged some lenten getaway for us and our families. we'll be somewhere north. new place i haven't been to. we will be having some serious "cleansing" sessions with our favorite patron, st. miguel.

can't wait for the holy week bustle.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

You Win

so you win. hey, that was supposed to be april fool's joke but i was really late posting it. boooooo!!!

it's tough, you know. if there was anyone who would really bet, i probably would have given it a go. but... there wasn't (excuses).

i tried to stay away and would have succeeded had i lived in the mountains or in a cage with nothing but the bare essentials... but, i live in a place where temptation is everywhere. in the office, i use pc to get my job done. over at the field, its there (like dogsh!t - they're all over the place). i go home and have some solemn moments with myself trying to be sane without it... over there in my private room, there..... my pc's right infront of me! i am sorrounded by machines dude... i can't get away from it! aaaahhhhhhh!!!!!

so, excuse me for failing but i did say no promises, didn't i? oh well, i did learn something out of this fruitless exercise. that i'm not that super engrossed with it (like other people who bring their laptops at bars or something... no offense john and to all wi-fi hotties out there). yeah i failed but at least, i made it four days! hahahaha!!!

here's two logical explanation why i failed: one, i read in sunstar today a column about surfing. now, this is supposed to be the sport section of the news. i thought the guy's talking about a surfing place in cebu i haven't heard of, but apparently, he was talking about his "surfing spots" and boy, did he mention a lot of my favorite sites! you know what i mean, the guy really tempted me!

then there was also a column in another daily, the freeman, where my favorite commentator talk about his experiences during the time when being proficient with wordstar is the coolest thing and carrying that 5 and ¼ floppy disk to a computer shop inorder to print his article was the norm. now, he's got his hands full with all the free internet access he's getting and can't stop wanting to learn more and talking about it. in addition to that, he's been invited as guest speaker at a graduation rites of a computer school! and yes my friend, that's the second reason why i failed. it's so hard to unlearn the good things i got from being a cyberpunk, dawg!

third, today is saturday. what am i supposed to do on saturdays? liquidate my advances then what? i know i said there were two logical explanation but what the heck, i got one more to satisfy your quest for answers.

so, there you have it.

now, call me whatever you want but i'm really weak when it comes to temptation. that's the reason why one of my many prayers to the good Lord is - keep me away from temptation.

still and all, i'm trying to find out what led me to call it quits. maybe it was just a bad day. i was pretty coherent when i made that decision.... didn't have alcohol flowing thru my veins nor was i having a bad hang-over (as if there was "good hang-over"). i definitely wasn't day-dreaming (being away from technology and being closer to nature) and i don't remember having a bad sex (coz i didn't have one ü).

well, no use crying over spoiled milk. i'm here now and i'm not doing forty days of fasting. i'm just human and i certainly can't surpass Jesus' sacrifice.

it was just a simple case of burnout.

please don't sue me....

Monday, April 03, 2006


i've been with this blogging thing for what, three months? i'm still learning the ropes. heck, i'm not learning too fast, huh? i haven't had the inspiration to write anything even when there are a lot of things going around me... since i haven't written anything for a while now, why not stop? i'm thinking about having a long hiatus from being a cyberpunk.

post here and there, start a thread somewhere, friendster(ing), reading stressful news of our country and the world (not to mention sports news - my f1 mclaren team losing to renault), reading and forwarding - forwarded messages.... then you have showbiz; budoy not winning pbb.

thanks to internet, i've learn a lot. i also waste a lot.

so, no promises, starting today i'm gonna try to hold my urge to click my explorer icon. "try? don't just try, do it!" some cliché to pump-up my quest for "cyber-free" lifestyle. i wonder how long can i keep myself restrained from the temptations... you wanna bet? i'd say forty days. any bettors out there?

really, starting today i'm going for gold. too bad by the time i get back, my inbox will be soooo full and i won't be able to see your comments (like you care).

it's summer. a lot of better things to focus my energy into... like work (yaiks!) well, there's always the family, gym, some d.i.y. household improvements, the dogs (haven't played with them for weeks now)... the possibility and the initiative's endless.

sigh. just got my gateway removed. after reboot, i no longer have internet access.

today's 04-04-2006.

be back on 05-14-2006

bye for now!

arnold out.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

The good girls and the bad girls

(thought this one's "educational" for "nice" guys like me... hihihi)

Good girls say "Thanks for a wonderful dinner" ...

Bad girls say, "What's for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl's man ...

Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties ...

Bad girls don't wear any.

Good girls wax their floors ...

Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot ...

Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner ...

Bad girls make reservations

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies ...

Bad girls know they could do better

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss ...

Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.

Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls ...

Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love italian food ...

Bad girls love italian waiters.