this is heaven...
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
WTF??!?
yeah, i ask the same question too... i dunno what happened but when i left last night, everything was in order till i check back this morning... oh well, shit happens... everytime. guess i'm gonna have to burn some brows to get my BLOG's mojo back again, huh?
well, it's getting boring anyway so some major changes are coming your way...
i'm just a little piss right now, thank you.
still here..
yeah, i ask the same question too... i dunno what happened but when i left last night, everything was in order till i check back this morning... oh well, shit happens... everytime. guess i'm gonna have to burn some brows to get my BLOG's mojo back again, huh?
well, it's getting boring anyway so some major changes are coming your way...
i'm just a little piss right now, thank you.
still here..
still on leave...
having a much needed rest to recharge some worn out batteries - burnout, to be exact.
well, had my softwares updated... thanks to some guy in the forum who gave me a good instruction on things (can't elaborate here, sorry) and microsoft, everything's even cooler now with my pc.
and yeah, i did propose to earl and aloy what we can do to get richer... he he he
i'll get it done, hombres, as soon as i'm done sorting out some domestic problem around the "corner."
having a much needed rest to recharge some worn out batteries - burnout, to be exact.
well, had my softwares updated... thanks to some guy in the forum who gave me a good instruction on things (can't elaborate here, sorry) and microsoft, everything's even cooler now with my pc.
and yeah, i did propose to earl and aloy what we can do to get richer... he he he
i'll get it done, hombres, as soon as i'm done sorting out some domestic problem around the "corner."
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
the new MS Office....
____________________________________
few nights ago, me and earl had a discussion about this new bar we're supposed to start with. prior to that, i had a good look at the place and to be brutally honest about it, i don't see it last a year... much like we had in our previous joint. there's not enough parking space and they were building quite a number of kiosk - 15. if all the bar owners go there all at the same with their cages, the place would be pack already.
so, i ask earl about the technicalities we might be facing (again) when everything's settled down. though he was excited about it, we both agreed this one's a little tricky. i mean, it's not like beach roots when everything just fell to its right places - never mind the few squabbles we've went through.
swak! is the right word here.
with this project, i don't see some "swak!" coming as of the moment.
though this is not the end of the story, i am inclined to believe that we just might have to shelve this plan... for now.
and yeah, that night got me really wasted. my head was in pain the morning after. me, earl and aloy (who came by and had a beer) split hours after. met louie at his new ukay-ukay (surplus) shop in a place where we lived before... talk about small world, huh?
business is good for him. his stocks had been selling briskly last couple of days. a few minutes after, he closed shop and off we went to...... SECRET!
anyway, good to be on-leave these days... finally have plenty of time to waste... for sweet nothings like this... he he he
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
monday, finally.
well, you know the news so 'nuf said, let's move on.... shall we?
***
yesterday, while browsing through a few sites for some news and tidbits, my pc hang-up just a few seconds after booting up. well, it wasn't really much of a surprise since it's been acting up lately... it's just that recently, yesterday in particular, it was way too quick as oppose to days ago when it would take a longer time to quit on me.
after several tries with the same result, finally made up my mind to open it up and just rip it apart piece by piece.
it could have save me some trouble if i'll just go and bring the darn thing to the repair shop but my gut feeling says i should just do a DIY.... once again.
though i've done this a number of times before, lately, i have been busy and lazy to get my hands dirty... but, i must.
and, so i did.
what i found out was, the other side of what's supposed to hold the CPU's hit sink was detached causing it to heat-up quickly. that explains why the CPU's fan was making some loud vibration. ignored it 'til the problem got worst. now, i really need do something... and done!
fix it.
the good thing about this whole experience (experiment, if you may) is, i was able to clean up the motherboard, the cards (memory, video,etc), and especially the cooling fans. not to mention, had me a quick refresher lesson. got the fans lubricated with WD-40 and some oil. now, it's fix, quicker, seamless and quite....
here have a look....
(tonight, blogger won't upload my images... so just click on the links....)
link01
link02
link03
link04
link05
link06
link07
link08
link09
well, you know the news so 'nuf said, let's move on.... shall we?
***
yesterday, while browsing through a few sites for some news and tidbits, my pc hang-up just a few seconds after booting up. well, it wasn't really much of a surprise since it's been acting up lately... it's just that recently, yesterday in particular, it was way too quick as oppose to days ago when it would take a longer time to quit on me.
after several tries with the same result, finally made up my mind to open it up and just rip it apart piece by piece.
it could have save me some trouble if i'll just go and bring the darn thing to the repair shop but my gut feeling says i should just do a DIY.... once again.
though i've done this a number of times before, lately, i have been busy and lazy to get my hands dirty... but, i must.
and, so i did.
what i found out was, the other side of what's supposed to hold the CPU's hit sink was detached causing it to heat-up quickly. that explains why the CPU's fan was making some loud vibration. ignored it 'til the problem got worst. now, i really need do something... and done!
fix it.
the good thing about this whole experience (experiment, if you may) is, i was able to clean up the motherboard, the cards (memory, video,etc), and especially the cooling fans. not to mention, had me a quick refresher lesson. got the fans lubricated with WD-40 and some oil. now, it's fix, quicker, seamless and quite....
here have a look....
(tonight, blogger won't upload my images... so just click on the links....)
link01
link02
link03
link04
link05
link06
link07
link08
link09
Friday, November 17, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
i'm soooo excited for this sunday's big event.... just dunno yet where to watch it live. i got a few invitations from friends... i might just end up watching "The Grand Finale" on delayed telecast... where are you gonna watch, hombre?
***
work had been easy, thanks to the management's decision to switch my work with val's. except for that specific clause in our new assignment that says everything but the benefits, incentives, commission, etc., they have effected the exchange of our work. now, didn't i mention i wanted the whole package?? i would have been a few thousand pesoses richer today. heck, management decision says nope. you just gotta work harder now, orc!
hands down, val deserves what he's getting. he's always up and about, in a hurry, goes around the city and never complains (OK, only a few times..), kiss asses (no pun intended), hard worker... you name, he's got it. i'd say he's the man. he deserves a few of that awards, trophies and cash gifts the management is giving out monthly. the man also knows how to share his loot, er, i mean, gains from his commish. it's hard to find guys like him... i'm learning a lot from him these days... have you seen casino royale? the new bond guy with that suave personality... he's half that guy.. ha ha!
***
moving on, thanks to globe broadband for having installed a free internet connection at home but, no thanks! it's like this: i can connect for a few minutes after booting-up then it's gone forever! talk to their technical assistance operator about the problem and tried vainlessly to solve it but can't. so, she sent their "contractual" technician the next day to see in the flesh what's bugging my pc... solve it in a blink but the problem came back in a whip.
told the tech guy, "see, that's what i mean! it connects for a few minutes and now it's gone." he made a lot of mumbo jumbo explanation that since our place is way too far from their server the possibility of continues connection is from zero to nil. what a load of CRAP! tell it to the marines, bhoy!
sigh. i guess i should just cut my losses and revert back to dial-up or, apply to smart's broadband. linking to their network utilizes cell sites and our house is just a stone throw away from their transmitter, i should have no problem connecting....
hmmmm, that should do it.
***
meanwhile, if you have notice my blog slowly becoming an "R" rated site (it usually borders between GP and X), no sorries but i didn't mean it to be that way. it just that most of the "materials" i bumped into had a little adult content but hey, it's not extreme... if you know what i mean.
gotta go cos my crappy mouse is acting crazy again...
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
got a good look yesterday at what appears to be "our" future bar. "our" because up until this moment, i'm undecided...
though i'm leaning more on the "GO" side, part of me says NO.
why, oh why? this time, there will only be five investors. three of us from the original ten investors of the now defunct beach roots, one is a bro of sarsy and the other is a friend of ours who used to own chill ville (whom we had a friendly competition before).
the twist here though is, i was told four of our friends who co-invested with us before is also putting up their own bar in the same area.
not that i'm against it but i would've like it better if it was just like before when we were ten. though money wise (read: ROI) wasn't that much, the fun factor was definitely something to look forward to.
of course, it wasn't all fun. the three of us who broke away from the rest felt we sweated and labored more than the others. and so, the decision to do things on our own was easy.
on the plus side, we'll probably hang-out again together... not as one group but competitors this time.
NO because my sis and wifey aren't too keen in supporting me with this venture... and i value their support especially from sis who never fails to check on me every now and then.. making sure i'm walking the right path and in good health....
meanwhile, i'm keeping my fingers crossed 'til the fat lady sings.
though i'm leaning more on the "GO" side, part of me says NO.
why, oh why? this time, there will only be five investors. three of us from the original ten investors of the now defunct beach roots, one is a bro of sarsy and the other is a friend of ours who used to own chill ville (whom we had a friendly competition before).
the twist here though is, i was told four of our friends who co-invested with us before is also putting up their own bar in the same area.
not that i'm against it but i would've like it better if it was just like before when we were ten. though money wise (read: ROI) wasn't that much, the fun factor was definitely something to look forward to.
of course, it wasn't all fun. the three of us who broke away from the rest felt we sweated and labored more than the others. and so, the decision to do things on our own was easy.
on the plus side, we'll probably hang-out again together... not as one group but competitors this time.
NO because my sis and wifey aren't too keen in supporting me with this venture... and i value their support especially from sis who never fails to check on me every now and then.. making sure i'm walking the right path and in good health....
meanwhile, i'm keeping my fingers crossed 'til the fat lady sings.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
back from the dread...
[check this out... look real close to see some image on the right side that's supposed to be a ghost?? keep looking.....]
*****
this is gonna be quick....
me and my best bud earl decided we'd hangout one last time before he heads to middle east. quatar to be exact. didn't bother texting my usual "buddies" cos this one's our "solo" trip, so to speak.
when we arrived at our meeting place, we were surprise to see two of our acquintances (okay, "not that close" friends) already inebriated drinking their favorite toxin, red horse beer.
so, even when we planned to do some "crimes" on our own that night, we didn't have a choice when they saw us and called us in to join their table. i thought, since they were earlier, they should be done soon. had a few chat with W and Y... non-sense mostly. they were in a "good" stage, i figure... i wasted three san mig lights and earl had two... well, i was thirsty, you know.
my bottle's half empty when i received a text from T. "meeting at mango grill, found a place for our new bar." shoot! looks like our iron-clad plan of a twosome getaway from 'em all is going down the drain. so, i asked earl if he'd be willing to mix it up with my gang. he was cool about it so, i said yeah, let's meet up... started to miss the good ol' gang, anyway.
but before all this events came to happened, some lady had been texting and asking me where i'll be hanging out that night. told her i have no plans at all and neither do our common friends...
four bottles and my world is spinning. right on the money, T texted that they're at the place and that the meeting had commenced. i said, we're on our way. gestured to the waiter for our bill and took a quick leak.
when i got back, a freshly opened beer is on the table. i knew my world's a little fuzzy right there but i'm pretty damn sure i ask for the bill, not the beer. W was quick to enlighten me, they ordered it up for us... i guess they like us too much they didn't want us to leave their asses behind. so, even when i'm loaded, went on to down the last drink in a haste.
said goodbye's to W and Y and immediately went to T's new hangout, mango grill. t'was the first time i laid my foot there and was impressed with the cozy setup. saw T and R with some stranger. we were introduced blah blah blah and now, he's no stranger no more.. hehehe
so, this is supposed to be a meeting, i asked myself. there's a band playing (nice taste of music there bro) and they're (T, R and stranger no more) drinking hard liquior. this has got to be something else. well, well, it was a "drinking spree" meeting, alright. shit, my main man earl, i don't know if he's cool about it but i figured he's got no choice. pacencia amigo!
with our objective under duress, i thought, we'll just have to enjoy the moment.
as time passes by, our goal to commit our planned "crime" that night is getting dimmer every minute.. at least, we did something else than bum out.
the lady texter arrive a few minutes later... dude, she's HOT! and her pal? just as HOT!
(OT: geeez, writing can be a pain in the ass... and i wonder who gives a rats about this diary, journal, episodes whateva of mine??)
after more nice music, chit-chat, food and a few concoctions of rhum and coke later, the band was done playing. socialize with some of them as they were our friends way back when we had a bar.
bored, we paid our bills and left in a flicker.
went to our new found videoke joint where the waitresses are hot. me, earl, T, R, the text girl and her pal and the not so stranger anymore R's hanger we'll call F for fat ass or fucker or whatever you like.
it was past midnight already yet the place' still bangin' with people singing their hearts out. we had a good time there... people just sings along with you... i had a hard time looking for something to belt on but earl was quick to suggest, "champagne supernova," part.
we would have wanted to go on with our videoke swagger but was told by the waitresses they're closing in 30mins. sigh.... we'll be earlier next time, promise.
as we left the joint, we had the text lady and her pal board a cab while we, yes, we, find some more action...
(this is the part where you're supposed to use your imagination... he he he)
so, the plan. we'll head to that bleeep bleeep to get a bleeep but it turn out there's no available bleeep. so, we head to another bleeep bleeep but since there were five of us, the bleeeps could not accomodate all of us since there are only three bleeeps available.
he he he... still following me?
anyhow, disappointed, i told everyone to fuck off! no, not really. just said, it's a wrap. we can all go our separate ways with a big L in our foreheads.
with our numbers now quickly dissipated, me and earl went back to the bleeep bleeep we went earlier. we have to wait since there are still no available bleeeps... a few more minutes and we had the right number of bleeeps... yehey! went to have a nice bleeep and immediately after, i told the bleeep if bleeep have bleeep bleeep.
minutes later, and a nice bleeep bleeep, check my cellphone and was surprise to see 3 missed calls and messages from earl. he's done and ready to go. just in time buddy, me too!
4am we arrived home. he's gonna sleep over cos i have to take him to the airport for his trip to manila where he'd take another plane for quatar.
we had a quick breakfast by 6am, left around 7 and immediately head to the airport.
bye buddy.
(told you this was gonna be quick)
*****
this is gonna be quick....
me and my best bud earl decided we'd hangout one last time before he heads to middle east. quatar to be exact. didn't bother texting my usual "buddies" cos this one's our "solo" trip, so to speak.
when we arrived at our meeting place, we were surprise to see two of our acquintances (okay, "not that close" friends) already inebriated drinking their favorite toxin, red horse beer.
so, even when we planned to do some "crimes" on our own that night, we didn't have a choice when they saw us and called us in to join their table. i thought, since they were earlier, they should be done soon. had a few chat with W and Y... non-sense mostly. they were in a "good" stage, i figure... i wasted three san mig lights and earl had two... well, i was thirsty, you know.
my bottle's half empty when i received a text from T. "meeting at mango grill, found a place for our new bar." shoot! looks like our iron-clad plan of a twosome getaway from 'em all is going down the drain. so, i asked earl if he'd be willing to mix it up with my gang. he was cool about it so, i said yeah, let's meet up... started to miss the good ol' gang, anyway.
but before all this events came to happened, some lady had been texting and asking me where i'll be hanging out that night. told her i have no plans at all and neither do our common friends...
four bottles and my world is spinning. right on the money, T texted that they're at the place and that the meeting had commenced. i said, we're on our way. gestured to the waiter for our bill and took a quick leak.
when i got back, a freshly opened beer is on the table. i knew my world's a little fuzzy right there but i'm pretty damn sure i ask for the bill, not the beer. W was quick to enlighten me, they ordered it up for us... i guess they like us too much they didn't want us to leave their asses behind. so, even when i'm loaded, went on to down the last drink in a haste.
said goodbye's to W and Y and immediately went to T's new hangout, mango grill. t'was the first time i laid my foot there and was impressed with the cozy setup. saw T and R with some stranger. we were introduced blah blah blah and now, he's no stranger no more.. hehehe
so, this is supposed to be a meeting, i asked myself. there's a band playing (nice taste of music there bro) and they're (T, R and stranger no more) drinking hard liquior. this has got to be something else. well, well, it was a "drinking spree" meeting, alright. shit, my main man earl, i don't know if he's cool about it but i figured he's got no choice. pacencia amigo!
with our objective under duress, i thought, we'll just have to enjoy the moment.
as time passes by, our goal to commit our planned "crime" that night is getting dimmer every minute.. at least, we did something else than bum out.
the lady texter arrive a few minutes later... dude, she's HOT! and her pal? just as HOT!
(OT: geeez, writing can be a pain in the ass... and i wonder who gives a rats about this diary, journal, episodes whateva of mine??)
after more nice music, chit-chat, food and a few concoctions of rhum and coke later, the band was done playing. socialize with some of them as they were our friends way back when we had a bar.
bored, we paid our bills and left in a flicker.
went to our new found videoke joint where the waitresses are hot. me, earl, T, R, the text girl and her pal and the not so stranger anymore R's hanger we'll call F for fat ass or fucker or whatever you like.
it was past midnight already yet the place' still bangin' with people singing their hearts out. we had a good time there... people just sings along with you... i had a hard time looking for something to belt on but earl was quick to suggest, "champagne supernova," part.
we would have wanted to go on with our videoke swagger but was told by the waitresses they're closing in 30mins. sigh.... we'll be earlier next time, promise.
as we left the joint, we had the text lady and her pal board a cab while we, yes, we, find some more action...
(this is the part where you're supposed to use your imagination... he he he)
so, the plan. we'll head to that bleeep bleeep to get a bleeep but it turn out there's no available bleeep. so, we head to another bleeep bleeep but since there were five of us, the bleeeps could not accomodate all of us since there are only three bleeeps available.
he he he... still following me?
anyhow, disappointed, i told everyone to fuck off! no, not really. just said, it's a wrap. we can all go our separate ways with a big L in our foreheads.
with our numbers now quickly dissipated, me and earl went back to the bleeep bleeep we went earlier. we have to wait since there are still no available bleeeps... a few more minutes and we had the right number of bleeeps... yehey! went to have a nice bleeep and immediately after, i told the bleeep if bleeep have bleeep bleeep.
minutes later, and a nice bleeep bleeep, check my cellphone and was surprise to see 3 missed calls and messages from earl. he's done and ready to go. just in time buddy, me too!
4am we arrived home. he's gonna sleep over cos i have to take him to the airport for his trip to manila where he'd take another plane for quatar.
we had a quick breakfast by 6am, left around 7 and immediately head to the airport.
bye buddy.
(told you this was gonna be quick)
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
BloG LeaVE
today, a few days or a month, maybe months, i'll be on a Blog leave.
reason: i have a project i need to focus on and finish up. i'm also a little burned out with this blogging thing i could use a breather or something.
so, to all my fans out there... adios and sayonara!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
The King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her vagina.
That night, three of the Guards did plan to have sex with the Princess. The First Guard went into her room. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened.
Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream. He came out. The other two Guards asked why he screamed. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn’t control himself.
This made the other two smile. The Second Guard went in. After some time, “Ahhhhh!!!” The Second Guard came out. The Third Guard asked what happened. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn’t control himself.
Finally, the Third Guard went into the room. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress. Outside, the other two Guards were as the Third Guard finished silently.
The next morning, the King came back. He suspected that his Guards tried to fuck his daughter. He told them to drop their pants. Each of them did. Two of them had sliced dicks, but the third one didn’t.
Confused, the King asked why. He stuck his tongue out and said, “I neba pry fuk ur dahta, I zunt eban lik ur dahta!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
partners in crime
what a night!
me and my friend (let's call him partner) had an awesome adventure last night.
went to our usual hangout in uptown area (sorry, no specifics here... we don't wanna get busted), had our usual san mig light for our drinks... chit-chat, people watch, get drunk and left after an hour or two.... end of the story, not!
went to this place where a mix of people hangout --- old folks, politicians, students, koreans, some babes (the waitresses were HOT!), med reps, yuppies and guys like us.
no, we didn't chit-chat and people watch anymore. we were there to videoke. dude, didn't wanna shame myself singing in a public place but after hearing those before us, i thought we could do better.
so, after four beers and a failed attempt to get the cellphone number of that babe waitress, we fled on foot.. haha!
the night's still young, we thought, so we decided we'd head to a familiar place we've been busting our asses for a year, bleeeep! bleeeep!
the final stop of the night happened to be the HOTTEST place we'd set our foot into. went there but not before partner and i made a pact we'd only consume 1 bot of beer and that's it.
suddenly!!
after finding our way in, saw a whole lot of sexy bodies - booties, if you may, dancing all over the place. finally, our butt-cheeks settled at the bar area. partner and i were amuse at how wild the girls and the ladies dance to the beat. whew, jaw dropping!!
about three meters away, three girls were dancing and grinding... damn ladies, you're makin' me horny! it is as if they were teasing us. the other girl kept raising her hands while dancing.. exposing her neat and white armpit. yum!
gulp.. gulp.. gulp.. our beer's gone - too soon?!?
ok, ok since partner paid for the first round, this one's on me. this should do it.. this is the "last," so i said.
moments passed, partner couldn't take it anymore. he went and introduce himself to one of the ladies who was already sitting (must be tired from all the humping and grinding).
one thing led to another and next thing i knew, we're all "friends" now, thanks partner! i'm a talker not a dancer so excuse me if my ass seem glued on my chair. the other two went ahead and continue with their business while partner was busy sweet talking his way into his girl's undies, err, heart... he was making a lot of headways, btw.
a few more minutes and no more beer?! shit, this ain't good. partner was quick to signal the waitress for another round. this is really, really getting out of hand, bro. anyway, since you ordered it, you pay the freakin' tab, man!
so, ok. can't do anything about it anymore. i guess i just have to roll with partner here... what are friends for, right?
then two females came over our table. apparently, they were friends with our "friends ." one look like a high school junior and the other was a definitely a lady, judging from the depth of her cleavage and the size of her juggles, can't be wrong...
while they were talking, the lady with the nice asset kept on bumping and rubbing her nice boobies at my forearm that's resting on the other chair. temptation... temptation... why art though?
even if it was so tempting to grab and bury my face in between those luscious mountains, i have to restrain myself and act like nothing happened. after a few exchange of pleasantries and some serious bumping and rubbing, they went ahead and dance flirty....
a few more minutes, the lady with a nice armpit (love to kiss, smell and... @#$%^ those) sat beside me. so, still have some mojo left in my tank, huh??
i was gonna do my thing when the alarm went.. teeeeet!! teeeeet!! teeeeet!!
now, what??
"no more beer, your turn, bhoy!!," partner yelled at me.
oh, crap.
you just took away the momentum, buddy.
this is it. this has got to be the super last of 'em all. waitress, move it!
since i was bent on getting my ass out of the place and even asked partner if i could go ahead and leave (which he turned down in a blink), i no longer had the inspiration to be sweety-sweety with "JA." her name must've been jasmine.
i bet if we talk a bit, we wont notice the hours biting the night away and that would be a disaster for an eight to five guy like me.
btw, the lady's name, partner was busy talking down to, is lyn.
finally, partner and i bade goodbye to our new found friends but not before he smooch her up. damn, told you he's on a roll there....
though i hate to do this but somehow it just have to be done...
THE END.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
can anyone out there with a good heart, great organizational skills, smart and sexy help me fix my messy work area??
i am really, really getting tired looking at this crappy place! so, please! please help!!
***
btw, if you have any good, bad, ugly or whatever stuff stored in your inbox that you may wanna share for the whole wide world to see, do send it to moi so we could all have a.... uhm, well, we don't know yet what's the appropriate reaction...
so, just send it.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
written by someone majorly ticked off!!!
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!
5. When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say, "Life is short." What?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!
5. When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say, "Life is short." What?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?
Memo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Memo from Director General to Manager:
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.
The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director General disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.
Memo from Director General to Manager:
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.
The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director General disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "you're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha, wow, she's naked! What the hell? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor, my good friend in there with her... He's naked too! That bitch! That bastard!"
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now"?
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the husband impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."
parking parking parking
don't we all wish we have a parking system like this? we could save a lot of space y'know...
Virginity Test
Two guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding..."I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue.
On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the
funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
love style...
since it's the end of ramadan, i feel like being chummy today if you don't mind....
so HERE goes....
*****
wonder no more....
i'm also a fan of several blogs out there, but since migrating to the beta version, i couldn't make any comments anymore... dunno why but i'm itching, boys and girls to be heard... hopefully, blogger.com could fix this "situation" soon...
so, to all noypi's, especially to the southside creeps, happy holiday....
so HERE goes....
*****
wonder no more....
i'm also a fan of several blogs out there, but since migrating to the beta version, i couldn't make any comments anymore... dunno why but i'm itching, boys and girls to be heard... hopefully, blogger.com could fix this "situation" soon...
so, to all noypi's, especially to the southside creeps, happy holiday....
Monday, October 23, 2006
stress relief
ey ladies!
this is what you do to your boyfriend, lover, husband.. whatever! if and when you found out they're screwing around....
Special High Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of S.H.I.T. allready.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of S.H.I.T. allready.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
btw, i am undergoing all of the above training... thus, my post/s is full of shit...
Sunday, October 22, 2006
britney spears - strip tease game
you wanna strip britney spears naked?
you need a real steady hand like a surgeon to do that....
to know if you have it, you know what to CLICK
btw, advance..... ah, you'll know when you're done with the game.
you need a real steady hand like a surgeon to do that....
to know if you have it, you know what to CLICK
btw, advance..... ah, you'll know when you're done with the game.
Calories & Sex
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now no one had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research we are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent........................ 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.......................... 8 Calories
With one hand........................... 12 Calories
With your teeth..........................85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..................................12 Calories
69 lying down............................78 Calories
69 standing up..........................112 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................... 216 Calories
In the bathtub .........................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.....................912 Calories
ORGASMING:
Real....................................112 Calories
False...................................315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are: 20-29 years old...........36 Calories
30-39 years..............................80 Calories
40-49 years.............................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................972 Calories
60-69 years............................2916 Calories
70 and over........................... Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry.............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door....... 1218 Calories
With her husband knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent........................ 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.......................... 8 Calories
With one hand........................... 12 Calories
With your teeth..........................85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection......................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary..................................12 Calories
69 lying down............................78 Calories
69 standing up..........................112 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................... 216 Calories
In the bathtub .........................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.....................912 Calories
ORGASMING:
Real....................................112 Calories
False...................................315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately.................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are: 20-29 years old...........36 Calories
30-39 years..............................80 Calories
40-49 years.............................124 Calories
50-59 years.............................972 Calories
60-69 years............................2916 Calories
70 and over........................... Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry.............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door....... 1218 Calories
With her husband knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
blue balls
"I think I have a problem, Doc," says the patient, "One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?" bursts the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, and the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, he comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too and, again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doc, and the patient has to agree with the operation.
But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returns to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient, the doc gives him the bad news: if he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, he does not want to hear about it.
"You want to die?" asks the doctor.
"But... how do I pee?"
"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
So, he has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters, again, the doctor's office. He is very angry. "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!" "What?" "Can you tell me what the hell is happening!?"
So, the doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know, could it be the dye from your blue jeans?"
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?" bursts the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, and the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, he comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too and, again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doc, and the patient has to agree with the operation.
But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returns to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."
After briefly examining the patient, the doc gives him the bad news: if he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, he does not want to hear about it.
"You want to die?" asks the doctor.
"But... how do I pee?"
"We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
So, he has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters, again, the doctor's office. He is very angry. "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!" "What?" "Can you tell me what the hell is happening!?"
So, the doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know, could it be the dye from your blue jeans?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
