i read and easily forget. well, i have a very, very short memory since forever and now that i've "matured" it's gotten worst. hah!
anyway, i did a lot of reading.. then listened to some preaching i downloaded from my church's website. i haven't been going to the church for months now and my soul is kinda hungry for some spiritual nourishment.
you should try that sometimes. it puts a lot of things in perspective with all the happenings in the world right now, i could really use a little guidance.
from what i reckon from all that reading and listening, it was impressed upon me that i could use a group... to sorta make me push myself and make me accountable.
ya know i could easily blend in. i just didn't want to.
i've always been self-reliant. i don't like to bug people with whatever if i can do it myself. whilst in college, i learned to be a handyman. even now when there are things that needs fixin' in the house or anything, if i can fix it or at least i know i won't make it worst, i'll do it myself. other than i hate waiting, it's also a hassle calling or looking for someone to do it for ya.
jack of all trades. i wish i am. but i don't know jack about being a mechanic. there are technical things that's just way too deep and needs some careful studies before you'd even wanna mess with it.
but i digress.
so goin' back to the group thing. that, i will have to work on to.
i'm kinda the loner type. i'm better off alone. though i have lotsa friends in the gym or at my workplace or wherever my butt falls into.. easily, i can get along with anyone.
i can make anyone laugh when i'm in the mood for it. in fact, i'm quite a joker.
basically, i have a lot of things going on in my mind.. some issues that i have to work out... address then hopefully, resolve.
it's not easy but i'm aware of it and definitely it's something i'm trying to improve on.
when i'm ready to just let it all hang loose, life would probably be different for me.. i'm guessing it's a better one. an upgrade.
that would be the day!
