One Liners

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman:"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman:"Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman:"Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman:"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under the rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman:"Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman:"That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman:"I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman:"No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman:"Do Not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman:"Unfertilized!"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman:"Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman:"You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman:"Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman:"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman:"Ohhhh, you're so right. I want you... to leave."

Man: "If I could just see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman:"Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey, cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman:"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman:"Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous."
Woman:"Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream."
Woman:"Go back to sleep."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?"
Woman:"What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?"

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman:"Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman:"Yes, but would you stay there?"