Chris Shugart wrote this in t-nation:

Feel the Burn

Here's how it happened for me.

Sophomore year of college, mandatory PE class, body fat testing day. I stood there with my shirt off while a cute little co-ed attempted to pinch the big rolls of fat around my waist. Man, I didn't even take my shirt off at the pool anymore, and now my blubbery gut was being pinched and measured by a beautiful girl? My face burned with embarrassment.

How did I get this way? I'd gotten in pretty good shape my junior year of high school, had spent the whole summer in the weight room. But in the three years that followed I'd fallen apart: no training of any type coupled with out-of-control eating habits. I was a sloppy mess.

Standing there with my shirt off I felt humiliated, but I really didn't need to worry: I was invisible. Paradoxically, that's what being fat does to a person. The fatter you get, the more socially invisible you become, especially to the opposite sex.

Our bodies reflect who we are, what we think of ourselves, and how we feel toward others. Your physique is your message to the world, the first message people will hear when they meet you... perhaps even the loudest message. My body was telling people I was lazy and stupid. I wasn't, but that's what I was projecting.

I snapped. That's the best way to describe it.

Later that day I looked at my reflection, swore at myself, and smashed the mirror with my fist. The burn of embarrassment turned into a spark of rage. At that moment I went inward. Four months later, I'd lost close to 70 pounds.

I'd been consumed in the fire and reborn.

****

it's only now that i understood. well, i'm experiencing something these days that's parallel to the lines of what Mr. Shugart said.

anyhoo, i'm rollin' with it.

****

meanwhile, now, i'm just a mere "mortal" once again to the forum i've grown to love and hate.. well, love cos the people there are the people i have met personally... so, we kinda have this bond between us. hate... i hate the way it's being run. to be brutally frank about it, i don't see it grow another year with the way things are being manage around the "house." if it didn't work the first time, how the heck it's gonna work this time where even the slightest sidetrack of a person's posting is magnified, edited, locked or worst, deleted?

but since i love the people there, i will continue to carry on. i just hope the higher ups can learn from the past experience we've had... for whatever it's worth, lemme just say a piece, well, pieces of advise: exercise maximum tolerance, allow people to deviate once in a while, visit other successful forums and learn a few tricks from them... and for whatchamacallit friggin sake, we ain't there yet, so allow some room for everything to grow cos it's pretty tight.. i can't almost breath!!

i'm happy being just a regular member now.. and my board being wiped out.. it lessens the burden and eliminate unwanted pressure off my back.. so thanks.